Watching Over Her
by alice4cc
Summary: This fic is about Nurse D during her time spent in the asylum trying to help Alice.. and Wonderland is a real place in this fic, btw.. *Fic is finished*
1. The Cat and the Button

NAME: Watching Over Her [Ch. 1 - the Cat and the Button]

SERIES: American McGee's Alice

SUMMARY: This is a fic about Nurse D [among others] and her time spent in the asylum watching over Alice in her demented state.

CONTAINS: Mild language, a little violence, slight hinting of girl/girl affection.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own American McGee's Alice or its characters in any way.

NOTES: In this fic, Wonderland is a real place; not a dream in Alice's head.

RATED: T [for Teen]

* * *

The date was November 4, 1864. The England air was cold with the threat of a coming snow fall. Nurse Kathryn Danika - more commonly known as Nurse D, as everyone called her now a days - shivered and wrapped her long, gray coat tighter around her body. She was 31 years old and tall, with a slender figure and long black hair that ended about four inches below her shoulders.. She stood outside on the pathway that lead to the main entrance of Rutledge Asylum.. Her dark eyes stayed focused on the men that had hold of the stretcher that the nine year old Alice lay quiet and still on.

She also took notice of the toy at Alice's side on the blanket - it was a stuffed white rabbit with long ears, a blue vest covered its velveteen body. Its only black, button eye was dangling loosely from the place for its left eye. The two men slowly made their way down the path as Doctor Heironymous Q. Wilson instructed them about where to go and taking small notes now and then about little Alice's arrival. He himself was a tall, thin man with long blond hair, often pulled back, and blue eyes. He was the age of 37.

Kathryn took a few steps closer to take in the girl's bandaged head and her disturbingly pale skin. Only her head and neck was visible beneath the thick blanket that had been placed over her to protect her from the winter chill. Kathryn couldn't help but feel a deep amount of pity for the small child. Kathryn had been working at the asylum for 2 years now, and Alice was the youngest patient she'd seen yet. The men set the stretcher down for a moment to rest, before making the rest of the way up to the asylum doors and just as they lifted the stretcher yet again, a gray, large cat came out of nowhere.

It pounced upon Alice, then stood on her stomach, glaring at the men with its fire gold eyes. The men took a step back in alarm, dropping the stretcher and causing the toy rabbit to fall onto the ground. Alice's dim green eyes opened and gazed at the cat, no trace of emotion shown in her eyes. One of the bearers tried to shoo the feline away with his hand, but the cat only hissed at them and didn't move. Then, having lost patience, one man grabbed a sturdy stick from the ground nearby and threatened the cat with it, swinging the stick only inches from the cat's head.

They watched the cat leap off Alice and flee away into the hedge. The men then went to the task of lifting Alice to carry her the rest of the way inside before the snow came. Kathryn retrieved the toy from the ground, then she and Wilson followed the bearers, giving occasional glances to the hedge where the cat was crouched, watching them as they took the girl inside. Wilson made a note to mark the cat's strange behavior in Alice's case book that night after she was settled in. They moved Alice all the way to the end of a long hall and placed her in an empty room, only three doors down from the nurse's station rooms.

Kathryn had spent most the time with one other nurse, cleaning up the room and changing the bed sheets to make the room suitable for young Alice. Then, one man lifted the girl's small body from the stretcher and placed it on the bed. When Alice's arms came into view, Kathryn took note of two bandages around Alice's left wrist. Her light brown hair laid dead over her shoulders and her eyes stayed open, fixed toward the ceiling. Kathryn came forward and placed the rabbit by the girl's side, expecting Alice to turn her eyes to her, but she did no such thing.

It was as though Alice didn't even see or hear anyone in the room with her. Kathryn was surprised to hear that Alice had been in a state of comatose for nearly a year, but she didn't think it was as bad as this. It had been twelve months since the fire, and the girl looked as if she hadn't healed from it at all.. Kathryn looked up from the girl as Wilson spoke, "We'll leave her here.. for now.. I want you and nurse Abrene to remove her bandages and check her wounds, Nurse D. Alright?" he asked, making more notes in his book.

She nodded, "Alright.. Fresh bandages as well, Sir?"

"If needed.. Thank you.. and report back to me if any of the injuries require immediate treatment.."

"Will do.." she replied, then watched Wilson look the child over one more time before leaving the room for other matters. The bearers left after him, leaving Nurse D and Alice alone. Kathryn came close to Alice and place her hand on Alice's forehead, then on Alice's cheek. Alice didn't even twitch, she only blinked a few times. Her face was fairly warm and Nurse D thought it a good idea to also check her for any sign of fever when they checked her injuries.

Alice wasn't the only child here at the moment, but she was the youngest, which meant Alice was to be checked on every hour of the day in case she awoke and tried to run away, as some other children have done in the past. Kathryn then removed the heavy blanket from the girl's body. Alice was wearing an old, ragged hospital gown from where she'd been placed previously. Kathryn pulled the bottom hem of the long gown up her legs and stopped just below Alice's hips, leaving the girl's legs exposed. Nurse D began checking every inch of the girl's bare legs and feet, she found several bruises.

One was fairly large around the left ankle.. There was a long cut down the back of Alice's right leg. It looked fresh and Kathryn knew on first glance that it would require medication to stop any further infection. She pulled Alice's gown back down and went to the task of checking Alice's arms and neck. There were several cuts on the arms that were untreated and the gash that the two bandages covered on her wrist. The gash that Alice did herself, trying to bring about her own death. There were small patches of reddish pink color on her flesh here and there. Kathryn guessed this must've been injuries from the fire. Burns that were almost healed.

Kathryn took a seat on the bed beside Alice, being cautious not to turn her back to Alice at any moment. She let her eyes turn to Alice's face, that pity she felt surfacing again. It's no wonder Alice was in such a horrible state.. having lost her entire family in one night.. and hearing the screams of them in their last moments, calling to her.. Then, laying there in the cold snow outside her house, in a state of deep shock, for nearly an hour until the glow of the fire was seen by late night workers.

Kathryn reached up and stroked some strands of hair out of the girl's face, suddenly feeling the need for conversation. "Alice?"

Alice didn't move, her eyes blinked again.

"Alice? If you can hear me.. you're safe here.. I promise.. we're going to do everything we can to help you.." she let her hand brush Alice's face, the girl did nothing in response, except her lips twitched once. Kathryn found herself wishing that Alice would speak, knowing that it would be difficult to cure the girl without knowing exactly what was bothering her.. cooperation from the patient was very necessary in the healing process. But this girl provided them with nothing as of yet, only the events of what happened from others. Nurse D sighed, trying not to get her hopes up too much for this girl's recovery.

She looked too far gone.. there seemed no reason to hope..

"I guess all we can do is make you as comfortable as possible and feed you.. until you talk to us.." she whispered.

"Nurse D?"

Startled, Kathryn turned around to see the nurse Abrene standing in the doorway, and she pulled her hand away from Alice's face.. Abrene was a larger woman than Kathryn and had a friendly, but stern face with dark red hair. "Doctor Wilson requests that we remove her clothing and dress her wounds while she's unmoving." Abrene said as she wheeled in a table behind her. On it sat various medicines for infected wounds, bandages and wet cloths. A small, gray dress had been laid on one side of the table for Alice to wear while in the asylum.

They did their best to clean and dress the wounds, using the light of a lantern to get a better view of Alice's wounds in the dimly lit room. Alice hardly noticed the entire time that the nurses fixed her wounds, speaking to each other about Alice's condition in quiet whispers. They removed Alice's hospital gown and put her into the gray dress that was required for her.

"We're to change her bandages every day in case of bleeding or leaking fluids, Nurse D.." Abrene said, as she finished wrapping fresh bandages around Alice's cut wrist, which, upon removing the cloth, they discovered was stitched up already. They had only to clean it up some. Then, once all was taken care of, the nurses laid her down in her bed more comfortably and placed the warm blankets over her. The window's glass behind the grates was shut to keep out the snow and rain.

Still, the room was slightly cold. "I think some thick stockings would be of use to keep her feet and legs warm?" Nurse D suggested, "I'll see about getting some before tonight.."

Abrene gave a nod, "Very well.. there's some in the storage closet.."

"Alright.. thanks.."

The day passed on, Nurse D checked up on Alice every hour. Sometimes her eyes were opened, sometimes closed, but her body stayed still, wrapped protectively around her one-eyed toy rabbit.. Nurse D had found out later that day that the rabbit was her toy before the fire and her only possession that she'd taken with her out of the burning house that night. Kathryn also agreed to feed Alice her dinner that night as well. Kathryn tried to get Alice to open her mouth for her to spoon the watery soup into it, but Alice refused, her face never changed from that dead expression.

Her lips stayed pressed together - no matter how much Kathryn tried to encourage her to eat. Finally, Kathryn - having lost a bit of her patience by now - took hold of Alice's small chin and forced the girl's mouth open, more easily than she'd expected. Then, Kathryn spooned the food into Alice's mouth and closed it. Kathryn was pleased to find that once the food was in Alice's mouth, she chewed it of her own will and swallowed.

'Well,' Kathryn thought to herself with a smile, '..at least, she'll cooperate that much. Hopefully, the medicine won't bring about an issue with her not wanting to swallow..'

Alice twitched, but made no other movements except for eating through out the rest of the meal and finally, Alice turned her face away. Kathryn became slightly worried, realizing that Alice must've had enough food.. she certainly didn't want to over feed the child, and Alice had eaten quite a bit for a small child. So, Kathryn set the plate aside on the table and took the medicine bottle. She opened it and carefully poured the red liquid into the spoon.

It was the same medicine that Alice had been taking while in the hospital, but now that Alice was in doctor Wilson's care, Kathryn was sure that the medicine would change within the next week or two, depending upon how the doctor's studies of her progress come along. Kathryn pulled Alice's chin down, bringing the girl's mouth open again, and she placed the spoon carefully into Alice's mouth. The girl didn't respond to this, just licked her lips after the spoon was pulled from her mouth and swallowed. Nurse D gave a relieved sigh and placed the spoon beside the bottle.

But knowing she had other patients to feed as well, she couldn't stay long with the young child. "Alice, I'll have to leave you now.. There's always a nurse or doctor near this area, so.. call us if you need anything?" Kathryn asked her.

Alice had no response.

But Nurse D was too used to this by now to be disappointed, so she took the dinner cart and wheeled it out of the room, being sure not to turn her back to Alice as she did so. "I'll see you in the morning for your breakfast and to give you your elixir, dear.." Kathryn whispered as she left the shattered little girl alone for the night..

o0o0o

The years had passed on, nothing changed much in Alice's progress.. The doctors and nurses were all loosing hope for the young girl. Until the date of September 7, 1873. Nurse Kathryn entered Alice's room for her regular morning check up on the girl. Eighteen year old Alice laid quite still on her bed, holding her one-eyed rabbit toy close to her chest. Her eyes never turned to Nurse D. Kathryn came over to Alice and placed a hand on the girl's head. She felt normal. Alice had slept peacefully that night, no fits of screaming during her nightmares.. if she had any.

Kathryn hardly spoke to Alice anymore, though, having taken care of the girl for over eight years now, Kathryn had developed a strong fondness for the girl. Kathryn had no children herself, so she liked to think of Alice as her own adopted from time to time. Nurse D was refusing to give up hope herself for the girl's recovery, though mostly everyone else by now had. It pained her to know that all doctor Wilson's efforts for a cure didn't prove to be of much help. Alice seemed as though she was completely deaf and blind to every stimulation that Kathryn and the doctor had attempted on the girl.

Blood letting treatments, straightjackets, handcuffs, leg locks, needles, leaving her alone in the garden for hours, in their view, of course.. nothing helped. She was alive, but dead on the inside. Just dead.

They had to pry open her mouth to force feed her every day now and when they had to move her from the room, they had to use a wheelchair, as she wouldn't walk. While Nurse D was in the room, she took a few moments to check the girl's blood pressure, which also appeared normal.. As Kathryn was turning away from the girl to leave the room and fetch Alice's breakfast, a darkened piece of paper on the desk beside the bed caught her eye. Sometimes the doctors would allow patients to have pencils and paper to write messages or notes on, provided they didn't try to hurt themselves with the pencils.

But Alice displayed no such behavior, so the doctor allowed her to keep them. Nurse D approached the table and picked up the paper for a better view in the dim light. It was a drawing of a strangely thin cat with a grin spread across its face and its body was laying across a branch of a leafy tree. It was a fairly bizarre looking thing, for a cat. Kathryn noticed also that some of the pencil's lead tips were worn down and knew Alice must've drawn this within the last few hours or so, while there was light for her to see by. Over all, Kathryn was fairly impressed by Alice's artistic skill.

She never once imagined Alice could be capable of drawing in her state of mind. Kathryn leaned over the bed and held the picture in front of Alice's eyes. "Who is this?" she asked, hoping for a reply.

Alice said nothing, but merely parted her lips as if she were about to speak.

"Is this cat a friend of yours?" Kathryn asked.

Still Alice never spoke, but her mouth twitched ever so slightly, as if she were about to give a small smile. Nurse D had a strange feeling that Alice wasn't even in the same room with her anymore.. as if her mind was off in some other realm at the moment.

Kathryn moved away to the door, "I'm going to show this picture to doctor Wilson, Alice.. Alright?"

Alice still didn't respond to her, but Kathryn couldn't help but feel a fresh wave of hope at this new development. Now if only Alice would speak. Wilson was quite shocked to find out about the picture that Alice had drawn that morning. He seemed to share the same about of excitement at Alice's slight awakening, as did some of the other nurses who found out about the drawing throughout the day. The next days to follow, Kathryn kept hoping for a spoken reply, or at least a new picture from Alice, but nothing came.

She waited and waited.. Finally on the day of September 10, Nurse D had grown desperate enough for another reaction from the girl that while Alice was sleeping after her treatment that afternoon, Kathryn took the small rabbit toy into the nurse's station. It was quiet there now, and the other nurses were away on a lunch break.. She knew she would have enough time to herself to do what she was planning. She went over to the tool shelves and searched through the cabinets till she found a pair of scissors, a needle, a small spool of black thread and took a black button from a case of spare buttons. Then, she took her seat on the sofa, placing the toy in her lap.

She cut the old thread from the rabbit's dangling, black button eye and cut the thread from the place where its left eye should be. Then, she carefully threaded the needle with the new thread and went to the task of restitching the button eyes onto the rabbit's velveteen face. This didn't take much time, she'd been taught how to sew properly in her early teen years. Soon, the rabbit was looking much better. She also used some thread to further secure the rabbit's left ear from falling away from its head. But other than that, the toy had been fairly well taken care of, so no further stitching was required for fixing it.

Once the nurse was satisfied with her work, she put the tools away in their place and made her way back to Alice's room. Alice was in a soft slumber when Nurse D entered the room. The sunlight was streaming across Alice's pale face. Kathryn slowly crept over to Alice's bedside and placed the small rabbit at her side. The brush of fur against Alice's arm caused her to stir, then open her eyes. Kathryn's breath caught in her throat, then she mentally cursed herself for having woken the girl up. Alice let her eyes turn to the rabbit laying on her arm, and raised her hand up to touch the newly stitched button on the rabbit's face.

But the reaction to follow wasn't at all what Kathryn was hoping for. Alice's eyes filled with tears and she sat up in a fit of sudden sobbing.

"Alice, what's wrong? I thought you would've -"

Alice only shook her head, still sobbing hysterically.

Nurse D took hold of Alice's shoulders. "Tell me, child, what's wrong?"

Alice only wiped some tears, looking more distressed in her crying.

Kathryn's grip on Alice's shoulders tightened. "What is it, dear?" she asked, becoming slightly distressed herself.

In a single moment, Alice looked up at Kathryn and whispered through her crying, "Into the hole again, we hurried along our way.. Into a once glorious garden now seeped in dark decay."

Kathryn found herself a bit startled by this, but she didn't know what to do for little Alice. "What's wrong, Alice? You don't like the button on him?" she asked, hoping Alice would say something else, but Alice didn't.

Kathryn raised the rabbit up in front of her for Alice to see it better, but Alice only continued to cry, then, getting the idea that the new eye must be the reason for Alice's emotional outburst, Kathryn tore the newly sewn, right eye from the rabbit's face, leaving the torn black thread to dangle from the rabbit's fur. Alice took notice of this action and ceased in her crying a moment later. Kathryn watched the girl lay back on her bed, the sorrow vanishing from her eyes and her expression becoming calm again. Kathryn gave a sigh, knowing now that a change like that wasn't a good idea, but why?

What was so wrong with a simple act as that? Then, Kathryn heard the sound of someone entering the room. She looked toward the door to see Wilson there. He was wearing a pleased smile, but he also looked startled. "So, she does speak after all."

Kathryn nodded, "How long have you been there, sir?"

"Long enough.."

"I thought the new stitching and the rabbit's new eye would help.." Kathryn whispered, feeling deeply disappointed over Alice's crying.

Wilson came over to Alice and placed two fingers against the girl's throat for a few seconds to check her pulse. "Her pulse is normal. Maybe it's best to let her come around in her own way, as I told you before. You must be patient, Kathryn.. please.."

Nurse D nodded and handed the doctor the black button. "I guess she didn't want it.. but why? I'm sure her rabbit had a right eye to begin with."

"The new stitch might've symbolized a change to her, a change she didn't want.. want to accept, perhaps?" the doctor suggested, placing the button in his coat pocket.

As doctor Wilson turned to leave, Kathryn couldn't help but ask the question that had been on her mind a lot lately. "I can't help but wonder.. if.. if she likes me at all? If she even knows how much effort I put into keeping her safe and comfortable.."

Wilson gave her a small smile. "I'm sure she does.. after all, she isn't deaf or blind.. she knows you're here for her.. You know, if anything.. with all the treatments I've done to her.. it'll be me she'll end up not liking.." he replied and gave a small chuckle at the thought as he headed for the hallway.

Kathryn sighed and looked back to the girl, who now had her eyes closed again, her right hand had a death grip on the rabbit's little arm. Kathryn resisted the urge to wipe away Alice's remaining tears for fear of awakening the young girl again. "You will get better.. I know it.. Wilson is right after all, I just have to be patient with you until then.."

Kathryn slowly stepped away from Alice's bed to leave the room, now feeling more miserable than ever. It seemed as though the method to heal the girl was just beyond her grasp and she felt as though she would never reach it. Hopefully, the next change will be much more positive than this one. All she could do was wait until then..

o0o0o

The days and months passed on once more since the incident with the rabbit's new eye. Alice had produced several new interesting sketches from her imaginings of Wonderland afterward. Nurse Kathryn had been told about the orderlies who were caught teasing and threatening Alice from time to time and Wilson was growing more and more impatient with their tricks. He'd even considered the thought of firing several of them for their behavior toward the patients on several different occasions.. and the orderlies knew they would get away with teasing Alice because she wouldn't speak of it.

She seemed silent when people were around, but Kathryn had overheard Alice talking to herself from time to time when her door was closed. So, she started to take a few moments to stop at the door and listen every time she heard Alice speaking within. To her disappointment, Alice's speech wasn't very clear, but she was sure that Alice was speaking to her rabbit toy. The young girl seemed quite attached to the little toy now a days.. and it wasn't until the morning of November 21 that Kathryn learned just how very protective Alice was of her toy rabbit. The time was around 8:46 am.

Kathryn was in the nurse's station having a rather late breakfast and catching up on her own notes for tasks to finish that day. Wilson was in his study, taking a quick nap, as he'd stayed up late last night experimenting with a new elixir he wanted to test out. All was quiet down the hall, until the sound of a man's shriek filled the hall for a moment, startling her from her note writing, then she heard another man's voice:

"What'd she do ? !"

"The little bitch!.. she -" the second man's voice began to say, then trailed off.

Kathryn quickly left her seat and ran into the hallway where she saw two of the orderlies. One was laying on the floor, clutching his bleeding cheek and looking as though he was in a great deal of pain.. the other was backed against the wall of the hallway, opposite of Alice's dark doorway. Both men looked frightfully pale. Kathryn knew at once that they were the twin brothers who'd been teasing Alice lately.. Completely ignoring the men, Kathryn rushed past them and into Alice's room. Alice was sitting on the floor by her bed, clutching a spoon and both her wrists were bleeding.

Then, Kathryn noticed the small stool where Alice's rabbit toy sat across from her bed against the wall. The fur mouth and stomach of the one-eyed rabbit toy was covered in porridge and a bowl of porridge laid on the floor, spilt over. There was another spoon laying on the floor beside the stool. Kathryn came over to Alice, who was looking very still and emotionless, and she knelt down in front of Alice and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Alice, dear, are you alright? ..what happened?"

Then, most unexpected to Kathryn, Alice dropped the spoon, slid her arms around Kathryn's waist in a tight hug and refused to let go, causing blood from her cut wrists to smear over the back of the nurse's white uniform.

"Alice, please let go.. it's alright.." The nurse tried to pull Alice's arms away, but Alice kept a death grip around the woman's waist.

At that moment, doctor Wilson entered the room, looking tired, but over all very upset. "Kathryn, what's going on? What happened here?"

"I don't know, sir.. Alice won't tell me, and I wasn't here. Ask the twins.. they were in here feeding her. I know they're responsible for whatever happened and.. Alice's wrists are bleeding.. I don't know why, but she won't release me so I can check them.." Kathryn told him.

"I'll be right back.. Stay here with her.. Let me know if she speaks at all." Wilson said.

Kathryn nodded, and Wilson turned away and left the room, demanding the two orderlies to follow him to his study. They did so without any complaining.

Kathryn felt a little more relief, knowing the orderlies were leaving and she let her hands go as far as rubbing Alice along the back to provide her some comfort. "It's alright, dear.." she said in a softer voice. "I won't leave you.. but please let me lay you back down on the bed? Alright? I need to check your arms.."

Alice's hold on Kathryn loosened some and Kathryn slowly raised the girl up off the floor. She slid her onto the bed and Alice gave a soft whimper as the nurse forced the girl's arms from around her, then let them lay at her side with the cuts exposed.. Kathryn then used a bit of the sheets to wipe away some of the blood. Upon closer examination, Kathryn saw that the cuts weren't as bad as the thick blood made them appear to be at first, but the girl would require a few stitches, regardless. Kathryn gently dabbed the blood away, wishing she had a wet cloth instead.

Alice laid quiet, allowing Kathryn to clean her up, but her eyes seemed to glance at the rabbit every now and then, and Kathryn noticed this.

"Do you want your rabbit, dear?" Kathryn asked, wondering if this would help.

Alice didn't respond, so Kathryn left the bedside and retrieved the rabbit from the stool. She brought it over to the bed and use the blanket to wipe away some of the porridge off the toy's fur before she laid the toy beside Alice's pillow. Alice's expression became even more calm now the her rabbit was nearby.

"You know, Alice, he'll need to be cleaned properly.." Kathryn whispered with a small smile. "..but I can do that tonight while you're sleeping so it doesn't upset you -"

"Kathryn?"

She turned around as Wilson entered the room holding a large medical kit in one hand. He came over to Kathryn and set the kit box on the table beside Alice's bed. "How is she?"

"Well, sir, she does require a few stitches on both wrists, but her cuts aren't that bad.. did the twins tell you what -"

"Yes, the younger brother did." Wilson spoke as he took some stitching thread and a thin needle from the kit. "He told me that while they were in here feeding her, they had grown tiresome of prying open her mouth and they made a game of feeding Alice's toy.."

Kathryn nodded, now realizing why there was food all over the toy rabbit.

Wilson continued as he threaded the needle, "While they were doing this, they turned their backs to Alice and she attacked them. She used one of the spoons that they were using to feed her as a weapon.. she stabbed the older brother in his cheek with it and gave him a quite a gash, I'm afraid.. then, she stopped in her attack and used the spoon to try to hurt her own wrists instead.."

Kathryn slowly shook her head in disappointment, not surprised to hear this, "Seems to me, they had this coming.." she whispered.

"Really?"

"Yes.. and obviously.. she doesn't like her toy messed with.."

"True.." Wilson whispered as he went to the task of cleaning and stitching up her wounds. This didn't take too long and Alice laid perfectly still the entire time, not wincing once.. this made it difficult to tell if she was in any pain or not. Once the stitching was completed, Kathryn helped Wilson with the cleaning, applying medicine to the wounds, and bandaging them.

"I think perhaps we should get her more food, since most of it was wasted.." Kathryn told Wilson once they were finished.

"Yes.. Can you and another nurse handle feeding her?"

"Of course, sir.."

"Alright then.. I'll have one of the kitchen staff bring you another bowl of porridge for her.." Wilson gathered up the medical kit and went out of the room, leaving Kathryn alone to wait.

* * *

NOTE: Off to a fairly well start? ..and sorry for any missed errors.. reviews are welcomed.. thanks ^^


	2. Mysterious Visitor

NAME: Watching Over Her [Ch. 2 - Mysterious Visitor]

SERIES: American McGee's Alice

SUMMARY: This is a fic about Nurse D [among others] and her time spent in the asylum watching over Alice in her demented state.

CONTAINS: Mild language, a little violence, slight hinting of girl/girl affection.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own American McGee's Alice or its characters in any way.

RATED: T [for Teen]

* * *

The days passed onward.. Doctor Wilson checked up on Alice's wounds every day when the nurses changed her bandages after her bathing sessions. The cuts seemed to be healing quite well, as long as she left them alone. He assure Kathryn that Alice shouldn't have scars remaining afterward. The orderlies weren't allowed in Alice's room from the time they'd been attacked by her, and Wilson made it clear to them that if such a thing happened again, both orderlies would be fired immediately.

Doctor Wilson tried everything he could think of to get Alice to tell him her side of the attack, but nothing he did provoked her into any sort of response. Kathryn also failed to get Alice to speak. On the day of December 6, Kathryn noticed a change in Alice, her mouth was now relaxed. This meant that Kathryn didn't have to pry Alice's mouth open to feed her. Kathryn found herself somewhat pleased by this and only hoped that this behavior continued.

Kathryn also noticed that when it was time to feed Alice her medicine elixir, Alice would part her lips slightly.. allowing the nurses to pour the elixir into her mouth easily. She certainly didn't seem to mind the elixir now.. But unfortunately, that was the only change in Alice for the next few months, all of Kathryn's efforts to get Alice to speak failed. Day after day, the nurses put the necessary food and medicine down Alice's throat. They also had been whispering among themselves that they were foolish to gain hope from one simple drawing and spoken poem from the girl's mouth.

Kathryn soon took up the habit of walking out into the garden in the morning or late in the evening after the patients had been fed and left alone to sleep. It was like being forced to face a horrible problem.. and having no way to fix it. She also had overheard some of the other nurses whispering to Wilson that they'd noticed a bit of a change in her own personality.. she appeared a little more miserable every passing week and they voiced the opinion that her being around Alice so much probably wasn't a good thing for her own mental health. She had to admit, some of them were right..

She only wished now that she could actually see inside Alice's mind to find out what was actually bothering the girl.. Yet, she knew wishing for such a thing was completely useless and forced herself to go about her daily tasks of caring for other patients, but her heart wasn't truly into her work anymore, it was in that cold room with Alice.. So, of course, when doctor Wilson decided to let Alice spend some time outside in the airing courtyard, in hopes that a change of scenery might help her to be more cooperative, Kathryn was the first to agree to take her outside.

The other nurses were somewhat thankful for her quick agreement, they wanted hardly anything to do with Alice since they heard about her attack on the orderlies. The next day, December 12, Kathryn brought a wheelchair into Alice's room. Kathryn had laid a thick blanket across the wheelchair to keep Alice warm while out in the winter air. Alice had already eaten lunch and been dressed in warm clothing, so she was free to do what she pleased the rest of the afternoon.. Kathryn lifted the girl easily up off the bed, placed her into the wheelchair, then covered her up with the blanket.

Then, she took the toy rabbit and set it on Alice's lap, then the nurse knelt in front of her to try to get the girl's attention. "Alice, doctor Wilson said you're allowed to visit the courtyard today.. Would you like to do that?"

The girl didn't speak, only blinked a couple of times.

"I'll take that as a yes, then.." Kathryn whispered as she stood up, secured the rabbit better under Alice's arm and pushed the wheelchair out of the room.

Alice didn't move while being strode along past nurses and doctors. Kathryn took her down several long hallways before they reached the door that lead out into the courtyard. There was a stone pathway through the courtyard that had a thin roof over it about eight feet high. Kathryn took Alice down this pathway and stopped at an area that she knew doctor Wilson would be able to watch Alice from the window of his study. There was a light snow all over the ground and the afternoon sun made the snow seem to sparkle. Kathryn wrapped the blanket around the girl more tightly and turned away to leave.

She'd return to check on her every twenty minutes or so when Alice was left alone like this outside. Kathryn went away, not liking the idea of leaving the girl unattended, but she knew that it didn't matter, Alice wouldn't move from that spot anyways. Alice had stayed completely still the entire time for nearly three hours until Kathryn finally made Wilson aware that she didn't want Alice to catch a fever, or gain an ear infection due to her being out in the cold so long. So, he finally let the nurse bring the girl back inside to her room.

Once they were back inside, Kathryn dressed Alice back into her asylum dress and tucked her back into bed with her rabbit at her side. The next morning of Dec 13, Kathryn found another interesting sketch laying on the table. It was drawn sometime after Alice's dinner, it wasn't there before or during her dinner, that's for sure. She gave the sketch to doctor Wilson to add to Alice's case folders after feeding Alice her breakfast and giving the girl her elixir. Alice didn't make any sound until doctor Wilson tried an experiment of his own. At around 10:47, he entered Alice's room.

She was laying on the bed, her eyes turned to the window, as if watching the snow falling in the sunlight. The doctor picked the stuffed rabbit up and left the room with it. He placed it in his top drawer of his desk and left it there. The next day, Dec 14, she stayed quiet all through breakfast and lunch time, then late that after noon, she went into a fit of screaming. Several nurses, Kathryn included, while in the nurse's station, heard the screams coming from Alice's room and came to see what the fuss was about. When they entered the room, Alice hushed and never responded when they tried to ask her why she was screaming.

A few hours later, after they'd left her room, she went into another fit of screaming and this time, doctor Wilson was called. He told Kathryn and the others that he'd removed her toy from the room to see what reaction that would cause. Then, told them to just let Alice scream for now, if she wanted, and that he was sure she was having fits because her toy was missing. She screamed most the next day, but hushed whenever a nurse entered to feed Alice her food or elixir, and Kathryn stayed with her for several hours that afternoon to quiet her down.. her screams were upsetting other patients as well.

Several days later, her screaming seemed to lessen, then she shut down completely. All through the rest of December, January, February, March and the beginning of April, Alice stayed in her silent trance. No pictures or spoken words came at all and Kathryn found herself wishing doctor Wilson hadn't taken Alice's toy away. Kathryn was trying not to allow herself to fall back into her misery again, knowing that Alice would come around sometime soon, she just didn't know when. She'd gotten back into her usual habit of taking nightly walks out into the garden or courtyard to clear her mind and think to herself for a while.

On the night of April 9, around 10:13 pm, Kathryn was outside again, refusing other nurse's encouragement for her to come inside and try to get some sleep. She politely turned them down several times. After they'd left, she placed her black coat around her and took to sitting on the cold ground. She placed her back against the black iron fence that separated the garden from another part of the asylum grounds. There were tall hedges on the other side of the fence that blocked her from the view of any one outside of the garden.

She sat there for about ten minutes or so, now completely depressed and wanting to cry over her failed efforts, but she knew it was useless, and it was only a moment later that a soft noise close by her caught her attention. She immediately snapped out of her misery and, becoming a bit alarmed, she looked to the side of her where the noise had come from. She saw a pair of glowing, golden eyes gleaming at her from the shadows underneath the low hedge, then a deep voice whispered, "Hello, Kathryn.." The voice sounded like that of a male, and Kathryn was more intrigued by this than frightened, so she didn't moved away.

"Hello.." she quietly replied, not sure if she was really hearing and seeing this, and began to wonder if she herself was beginning to go mad. "Who.. who are you?" she whispered and the voice gave a small chuckle.

"Nothing to be afraid of.. so.. you really seem to care for our Alice.." the creature whispered as it came out from underneath the hedge, allowing Kathryn to get a better view of it. It was a cat that was long, horribly thin and it stood about two feet tall. In the nearby light of the lamps, Kathryn could see that the fur was a shade of light brown and the cat had dark, unusual markings on its body.

The thing she found most curious about the creature's appearance is that it had a grin that stretched from one side of its face to the other, and that from its right ear hung a large, loop shaped ear ring. The ring's color was a gold that seemed to have lost its shine. Kathryn recognized this feline as the same cat that Alice had drawn a while back.

Kathryn got the nerve to speak again, sure that she was going mad now. "Yes, I.. I do care for her.. What's it to you?" she asked, pulling her black coat tighter around herself.

"Would you like to know what's really happening to her, Kathryn?" the cat whispered, coming closer to the nurse.

"I.. Yes.. I would.."

The cat gave a small nod, blinking its large eyes. "Alright, I'll tell you.. There's another world known as Wonderland.. That's the world she goes to when she's not within the asylum walls.. and in -"

"That's not possible.."

"Sure it is.. You see, Kathryn, it's very simple.. When Alice comes to Wonderland, her physical body stays in the asylum, but her mind and.. in a way, her soul, leaves her physical form behind here in the asylum.. which is why she appears dead.. but in Wonderland, she is given her own body to exist in during her stay, since she can't come to Wonderland in her physical body.. Do you follow me, so far?"

"I believe so.. why are you telling me all this?"

"Because you have a heart for her.. and you want to know.."

"Alright, lets say I believe you.. why is she in Wonderland to begin with?" Kathryn asked, too curious now to get into Alice's mind, that the idea of her talking to a cat didn't bother her a bit, especially if this cat seemed to have the answers she was looking for.

"She's in Wonderland because she has a destiny there.. She is the destined one to free us from the wrath of an evil queen who rules over Wonderland at this very moment."

"But she can't.. she's not well.. she's very weak and -"

"Here in the asylum, she is weak.. but in Wonderland, she is perfectly capable of thinking on her own, she's very clever and quite sane, and her body is very strong, actually.. Perfectly suited for battle.."

Kathryn shook her head. "No.. I'm finding this too hard to believe.. cat?"

"It's Cheshire cat.. Actually.. Alice just calls me Cheshire.."

"Do you have any other proof?"

"Proof.. Am I not enough proof for you? Hell, you're sitting here talking to a cat.. who knows Alice, that should be all the proof you need right there.."

"Alice did draw a picture of you, she must know you.."

"Yes, and I was there watching her draw it.. I've watched quite a lot of your interactions with her.."

Kathryn sighed, looking more troubled. "I.. just don't know what to believe.. I've been waiting and waiting for an answer, but this one just seems too impossible to accept.."

"I thought you might feel that way, that's why I brought you a little gift." the Cheshire cat looked to the side of him where a mirror appeared, quite startling her. It was nearly five feet tall and three feet wide. It had a frame of silver with a design of leaves and vines all the way around the mirror. It stood suspended in mid air. This was nothing like what the nurse was expecting for a gift.

The cat cleared is throat. "Now, Kathryn, this is your mirror.. therefore, you and I are the only creatures that can see it.. Understand? No one else here can see it.. This will be your window to glimpse into Wonderland as you please.."

Kathryn stood up and slowly approached the mirror, feeling more like she'd be thrown into a strange dream. She certainly wasn't used to objects just appearing out of thin air before her very eyes. "So.. other worlds really do exist?"

"Of course they do!" said the cat, sounding as if she'd insulted him. "You humans just try to tell yourself that other worlds aren't real because you've never been to any other worlds yourself and most of you humans will never be able to visit them.. until death." the cat's smile seemed to widened some.

Kathryn raised a hand toward the mirror, but the cat's voice stopped her, "Don't touch it!"

She quickly moved her hand away. "Why not?"

"I can't tell you why.. but just trust me, don't place any part of your body to the mirror's surface.."

"How will I move it, then?"

"It will move to where ever you wish it to go by force of mind.. Alice controls the weapons that she uses in Wonderland in the same way, actually.."

"Alice has weapons?"

"Indeed.. They change size and activate when her mind commands them to do so.. and they can't be taken from her by her enemies to be used against her in battle.. no fear of that.. none can touch these weapons but her.. Basically, they're her gifts given for battle purposes."

"What should happen if someone tried to take these weapons from her grasp?" Kathryn asked, kneeling down to hear the cat better.

"Then the hand of the enemy would merely pass through the weapon as if the weapon itself had no material form.. as if it were an illusion.."

"Interesting.. and.. who gave her these weapons?"

"The true Queen of Wonderland.. the very creature who created Wonderland.. She's the one who gave Alice this destiny to destroy the one known as the wicked Queen of Hearts - sometimes called the Red Queen.. Alice will grow powerful enough to bring about the end to her.."

Then, a new thought came to Kathryn's mind, "Can Alice ever die there?"

"Yes, in a way.. To be honest, she's died three times already.. but you see, every time she dies in Wonderland, she awakes back in the asylum in her physical body.. Really, it's no different than if she was waking from a bad dream, understand?"

Kathryn nodded, following along.

The cat continued, "Alice sees dying as nothing more than being forced to take a short trip away from Wonderland. Then, when she returns to Wonderland, her body in that realm will be restored as if she ever had gotten killed or injured to begin with.. she will sort of pick up where she left off.. and continue on with the rest of her journey.. Thanks to the efforts and protection of the true Queen.."

The cat's smile became one of great satisfaction. "Which is one reason why the Queen of Hearts is so furious right now.. Alice can't truly be killed.. and the only way the Red Queen can stop Alice now is by capturing and imprisoning her somewhere in Wonderland.. but as clever as our little Alice is, she'd find a way to escape that.. it won't hold her for long.."

Here, the cat's voice lowered, as if the Queen of Hearts herself may be listening, "..the Red Queen is destined to die, and she knows it, but all she can do is try to delay the coming death as long as she can.. and one way is by repeatedly killing Alice.. Every time Alice dies, her trip is delayed.. giving the Red Queen of Hearts more time.."

"Can you die.. Cheshire?"

"Yes, just as any creature.. but I'm very careful about where I go and who I interfere with.. Cats truly don't have nine lives, you know.." he chuckled. "They just get lucky sometimes and out smart death.. It's one reason why I'm here right now.. You see, the true Queen gave me the ability to travel between the worlds, as I wish.. This allows me to keep an eye on Alice in both worlds.. for her sake and ours.."

Kathryn let her eyes travel to the mirror again and just out of curiosity, silently commanded it to appear to the left some. The mirror vanished instantly and reappeared just where she wanted. Kathryn was quiet surprised by this, not expecting the mirror to move at all, or so easily for that matter. Then, focusing on the mirror again, she commanded it to show Alice to her. The mirror's reflection changed and showed Alice as she was in Wonderland.

She was laying against a thick stem of what appeared to be a very large mushroom, sound asleep. She was wearing a blue dress under a white apron.. She also had a large knife at her side. There were really tall blades of grass around her and a purple, towering flower nearby.

"She's taking a cat nap right now to regain some of her strength.." the cat whispered. "..yes, she does get tired from time to time, seeing as how most of her journey is on foot.."

"That's understandable.." Kathryn whispered, coming closer to get a better look at Alice.

Alice had a gold omega pendant attached to the black necklace that hung around her neck. The pendant sat at her chest level. On her apron were black symbols for Neptune and Jupiter. Alice wore black boots and had striped stockings of black and white over her legs. Her face seemed to have a little more color in it and her hair was a slight mess, but truth be told, she looked no different from her appearance in the asylum.

"Does she wear that dress all the time there?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes, every time she arrives here.. Fortunately, she really likes the dress, so she doesn't mind it one bit.." he said, carelessly laying down on the cool grass to relax.

Then another question came to Kathryn's mind. "Alice has a toy - a bunny.. and I tried to replace its eye.. but when I gave it to Alice, she began to cry.."

"Because of the white rabbit.."

"The white rabbit?"

"Yes, by following him is how she came to Wonderland in the first place and he was serving as her guide through Wonderland recently.. before he was killed, leaving her to follow her own path with only me.. and when you changed the rabbit to fix him, she became upset over the rabbit's death again and couldn't help but tell you in her own way."

"Why'd she tell me, and not some other nurse?"

"Because you were the only one in the room with her at the time.."

"Oh.." Kathryn gained a disappointed look in her eyes for a moment. "She cried until I removed the button from the rabbit's face.. Why?"

"She misses her family and the white rabbit. She feels guilty that she couldn't help her family and that the rabbit died trying to help her.. and.. as you've said before, she didn't want her toy messed with or changed.. She doesn't like change.. and sewing the toy's eye back to its face brought back unpleasant memories in Alice's mind of her past with her family.. It made her face a truth that she wanted nothing to do with: those who've died aren't coming back to her.."

"Wilson has taken the rabbit from her, by the way.. and she screamed for several days after this.."

"Yes, I know.. The toy was the only thing in her life that the fire didn't take from her, so indeed, she protects it.. She didn't want to lose her toy.. just as she didn't want to lose the white rabbit or her family by death.. and she blames herself for all the deaths that are happening around her.."

"But the fire wasn't her fault.." Kathryn whispered.

"Try telling her that.." the cat stood up, suddenly seeming alarmed. "Kathryn, I hate to cut our chat short, but she will awake soon and be expecting to see me."

"So, you're leaving?"

"Yes.. and the other nurses are right, you should get some rest.."

Without another word, the cat vanished before her eyes. Kathryn slowly got up and turned away, then noticed a young nurse with blond hair - by the name of Sarah - coming up the pathway, Kathryn knew she was searching for her. Kathryn got the idea that the Cheshire cat sensed this nurse was coming, that's why he left in a bit of a hurry.

"There you are.." Sarah said with a pleasant smile as she walked over to Kathryn. "Wilson is insisting that you come in and eat something.. You haven't had your own dinner yet and we know it.. Wilson says you're loosing enough weight as it is over this issue with Alice and he's starting to worry about you, too.."

"Yes, I know.. Alright.."

"So, who were you talking to when I came out here?" Sarah asked with a slightly amused smile.

"No one.. Just myself.." Kathryn replied, guessing that the cat was invisible to Sarah's sight, and of course, the mirror was, or else Sarah would've already questioned her about it..

"In all my time of knowing you here, Kathryn, you never seemed the type to talk to yourself.." Sarah said, giving Kathryn a concerned look..

"I'm fine.. Are you suggesting that I can't talk to myself from time to time?" she asked, turning her eyes to the mirror with a small smile.

"Well.. yes, you can.. but I've never known you to do it.."

"You worry to much, Sarah.. I'm fine, really.. I don't need everyone beginning to worry about my sanity levels just because I spent a few moments talking to myself.." she gave a sigh in the cold air, "Alright, lets go inside.. and I'll find something to eat so you all will stop worrying.."

Sarah nodded and began to walk along side of Kathryn up the stone walkway. Kathryn just happened to glance back at the mirror, which was still showing Alice sleeping. A pair of gleaming, golden eyes appeared out of the darkness beside the mirror, then a bright glowing, wide smile appeared under them. Kathryn got the idea that the mysterious cat had been there all along.

The grin and eyes remained there until Kathryn and Sarah reached the door, then, as Kathryn was opening up the door for Sarah to go inside, she caught sight of the eyes and grin vanishing, certain that the cat really did leave this time.

o0o0o

After Kathryn had finished her dinner for the evening, she moved the mirror into Alice's room and set it by the wall across from the window and the bed's headboard. It seemed fitting the that mirror should be here. Alice still lay sleeping in Wonderland, while her eyes here in the asylum remained open, staring up at the gray ceiling. Alice had already been bathed and fed, so there was really no reason for Kathryn to be in here. She made a mental note to check up on Alice in the morning, as well as see if she was awake in Wonderland also.

Kathryn returned to the nurse's station and, seeing as how the sofa was occupied, she'd have to make due with one of the six beds that were in the other half of the station. The beds were there in case any of the nurses had decided to spend the night in the asylum, which Kathryn had done every so often when she'd had a long night. Kathryn retrieved her sketch pad and pencils from her own personal cabinet and went into the other part of the station. The six beds were all empty. At least she knew she wouldn't be disrupted. She took a seat on one of the beds that was set against the wall and she leaned back against the wall.

Then, she placed the sketch pad in her lap, turning to a blank piece of paper. She began to make a drawing of Alice in her blue dress and white apron, sound asleep against the mushroom stem, the knife at her side. Kathryn added the necklace with its gold omega pendant, as well as the black Jupiter and Neptune symbols on her apron. Once Kathryn was satisfied with the sketch, she titled it, "Alice in Wonderland - Drawn on April 9, 1874".

Then, she placed the picture in her folder and got up to return it to her cabinet. She then took a seat in a now empty part of the sofa and listened to the other nurses in their conversation for a while, finally having growing bored of that, she retrieved herself something to drink and headed off to bed for the night. She awoke at around 3:28 that morning, the room was dark and all was quiet. Kathryn slowly looked around the room, realizing that she was the only nurse there. Everyone else must've gone home. She turned over, so she wasn't facing the wall and was immediately startled.

There was a pair of yellow eyes staring at her from over top the side of the bed, almost right in front of her own face.. then she gave a small sigh of relief when she realized that it was only the Cheshire Cat.. again, and the only part of him that was visible was from his nose and up, the rest of him was hidden behind the side of the bed.

"What ! ?" Kathryn whispered more harshly than intended. "Is something wrong?"

A soft, purring sound came from him before he spoke, "There's nothing wrong.. I just wanted to tell you that I liked the picture you made of Alice. You're quite an artist yourself."

"Thanks.. You woke me up to tell me only this?"

"I did no such thing.. You woke up on your own.."

Kathryn gave him an irritated look before adjusting her blanket to better cover herself.

"What's wrong?" The cat asked, sensing her annoyance.

"Nothing.. It's just that when I awake this early in the mornings, I have such trouble getting back to sleep.. It's a nightmare sometimes.."

"You know, warm milk always helps in these cases.." he said as his eyes gained an amused look.

"I'll remember that.. Now, if you have nothing important to tell me, may I try to go to sleep now? I have to wake up early tomorrow.." Kathryn whispered, turning her face away from the cat's eyes.

"You did wake up early.. Alright.. I'll see you in the morning then.." With that, the cat vanished, leaving Kathryn alone to sleep for the night.

o0o0o

When Kathryn entered Alice's room in the morning, she found Sarah leaning over Alice as she laid still on the bed. There was a plate of food set on the table beside the headboard of Alice's bed, there was also a small vial of red colored elixir beside the plate. Sarah was carefully spooning Alice's breakfast into the girl's slightly opened mouth. The mirror across from her still showed Alice asleep within Wonderland, the Cheshire cat was curled up beside her in his own sleep.

"Sarah?" Kathryn came closer as Sarah turned her head toward Kathryn.

"Ah, you're awake. I agreed to feed Alice this morning, seeing as how somebody refused to wake up to feed her.." Sarah said with a smile.

"Who? Me?" Kathryn asked, looking slightly alarmed.

"Yes.."

"You tried to wake me up?" Kathryn asked, having no knowledge of this at all.

"Yes.. I did.."

"Oh.. Sorry. So, would you like me to take over from here, or.."

Sarah reached out the now empty spoon to Kathryn while backing away from Alice. "Here.. I don't trust the girl completely yet."

Kathryn smiled and took the spoon. "Well, as long as you don't threaten or tease her.. or give her a reason to hate you.. then, you should have nothing to worry about." Kathryn came over to Alice and took a seat on the bed's side, then began spooning the food into Alice mouth.

"Umm.. You don't mind if I leave now, do you?" Sarah asked.

"Why?"

"Because she rather disturbs me.." Sarah whispered, walking to the door.

"Why? She's done nothing to hurt you.."

"And I'm not about to give her the opportunity.. Thanks.." Sarah said as she left the room.

Kathryn's attention was immediately turned by to Alice when she felt the girl gently grab her hand that held the spoon. Alice slowly pulled the spoon to her mouth. "One moment, Alice, I have to put food on it first." Kathryn said with a smile and Alice moved her hand away. Kathryn began spooning food into the girl's mouth repeatedly, until finally, as Kathryn was bringing the spoon to Alice's mouth again, Alice pressed her lips together hard and turned her mouth away from the spoon. She did this sometimes as a way of saying that she'd had enough to eat.

"You know, dear, you still have your elixir to take.." Kathryn whispered, then emptied the food from the spoon back onto the plate.

Alice slowly parted her lips again, signaling that she was ready for her elixir.

Kathryn took the cap off the vial and placed the opening of the vial in between Alice's lips, then tilted the vial upward, allowing Alice to drink the red liquid within. Once it was all drained, Kathryn replaced the vial's cap and placed it in her pocket until she returned it to Wilson, who would have it cleaned for reusing around lunch time. Then, just as Kathryn was about to turn away, Alice gained a hint of alarm in her eyes, then it was replaced by one of her emotionless looks. Kathryn grew worried over this and looked to the mirror to see if anything was happening.

To her surprise, Alice was on her feet, running away through the tall mushrooms and flowers. There were several flying insects following her, dropping some circular objects to the ground, apparently trying to hit her with them. The objects seemed to explode once they touched the ground. Kathryn came close to the mirror to get a better view. These object, she realized, were nothing more than acorns, but explosive ones. Alice ran harder, dodging them the best she could until a dark pink flower towered up in front of her.. She retrieved a long, glowing weapon that appeared to be made of light, sea-green ice and pointed it at the hissing flower.

A mist of white and light sea-green color erupted from the weapon's tip, spraying over the flower and soon, the plant was frozen in sea-green colored ice.. which looked rather beautiful, in Kathryn's opinion. Once Alice was finished with her attack, she began to flee away once more, as the insects were still after her. She ran until she found a large hole in the ground and jumped down into it. The hole lead to an underground tunnel. Once Alice was inside, she skidded to a stop and leaned her back against the tunnel's wall of earth, resting some.

Alice gave a small smile, knowing that the insects couldn't reach her with their acorn explosives here and it was rather strange to Kathryn to see so much emotion.. and life, for that matter.. in the girl's face, as if Wonderland had brought her to life. It was certainly a pleasant changed from the dead look Alice always wore. She watched Alice place a hand to her chest, as if trying to calm her pounding heart. Kathryn was beginning to get the idea that Alice was only about four inches tall and that Wonderland was some sort of realm full of actual magic.. a realm where almost anything was possible.

Alice moved away from the wall and traveled through the dark, quiet tunnel until she found a piece of ground that slanted some, then she laid down on the ground, the ground's slant giving her head some comfortable support. Alice closed her eyes and moments later, the girl was in a deep sleep again, this time with the ice weapon at her side. Kathryn stepped away from the mirror, trying to remind herself that there was no reason to truly fear for Alice's safety in that realm. She returned to Alice's bedside. Alice had just a hint of awareness to her eyes. Kathryn came to sit close by her.

"Alice, dear? Will you tell me what that weapon was.. that you froze the flower with?" she asked, stroking some of Alice's hair away from her face, then paused only when Alice parted her lips.

"Ice.. wand.." she slowly whispered, so quietly that Kathryn barely heard her.

"Ice wand? Is that what you said?" Kathryn asked, leaning a little bit closer in case Alice spoke again, but Alice only gave the slightest hint of a nod in reply. "It's a interesting weapon.." Kathryn replied, and Alice remained quiet.

That was the only thing Alice said the rest of the day and she remained quiet for the next few days. Occasionally, Kathryn checked up on how Alice was doing in Wonderland, sometimes she was awake and continuing on her journey, other times she was asleep again. Kathryn didn't feel the need to watch the mirror all the time, she couldn't anyways because of her schedule and sleeping, and she couldn't help but feel a little better now that she knew what Alice was dreaming about. She never mentioned a word of this to anyone. She had the sort of idea that Cheshire wished for this to remain a secret.

* * *

NOTE: To Be Continued.. ^^


	3. Through the Looking Glass

NAME: Watching Over Her [Ch. 3 - Through the Looking Glass]

SERIES: American McGee's Alice

SUMMARY: This is a fic about Nurse D (among others) and her time spent in the asylum watching over Alice in her demented state.

CONTAINS: Mild language, a little violence, slight hinting of girl/girl affection.

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own American McGee's Alice or its characters in any way.

NOTES: In this fic, Wonderland is a real place; not a dream in Alice's head.

RATED: T [for Teen]

* * *

Over the eight days that followed, Kathryn checked on Alice's progress in Wonderland by way of the mirror every time she entered Alice's room. Alice was sometimes awake in Wonderland, still three inches tall and traveling underground or roaming through the garden.. or sometimes she was here in the asylum while her body laid sleeping within the Wonderland garden somewhere. She also was heard faintly whispering to herself from time to time.. but whenever anyone entered the room, she hushed immediately. And she never once asked for her toy rabbit back.. Kathryn guessed that Alice must've thought her stuffed toy had been thrown away.

It was around 9:48 in the evening of April 17. Kathryn had been told about the white rabbit's death and how emotionally upset it made Alice.. and maybe.. the loss of her toy rabbit was one reason why she'd grown so quiet now and refused to speak to anyone.. Perhaps this toy held some key that would help Alice a little. Kathryn made up her mind and about what she wanted to do and met Wilson in his study.

"Sir?" Kathryn whispered as she came to stand by the opened door. Wilson was sitting at his desk, wearing his reading glasses and looking through the case book of another female patient that was in his care. He looked up when she spoke, "Yes, Kathryn?"

"I was just wondering about Alice's toy -"

"It's here in my drawer, safe.. along with the button eye.."

"Yes, I know.. I was just wondering if - well, since you've now seen what taking the toy away would do to her.. I want to stitch the eye back on and try returning it to her.. Just to see if this helps her in any way.."

Wilson sat back in his chair, a rather serious look came to his face. "Do you? Well, I must admit, taking the rabbit away didn't help in her case like I'd hoped.. if anything, it made her worse.."

"I want to try.. Sir, please, let me do this.." Kathryn said, taking a few steps into the room. She was so intent on this act because she knew about the destruction of Alice's rabbit friend in Wonderland.. she was hoping that by returning Alice the rabbit toy, it would help her to better cope with his death.. seeing as how Alice seemed to think of her toy as her friend.. maybe it was her only friend here, in her mind.

Wilson spoke again, "I just don't want to make her condition worse.. I was thinking that perhaps the rabbit was one of the reasons why she stayed so silent.. it reminded her of home.. but when I took it away, she became very upset.." He sat there for a few moments in silence, thinking hard, then finally he reached for the drawer's handle and pulled it open. He took out a large, tan bag and handed it to Kathryn as she came close to him. "I'm trusting you with this.." he told her.

She looked inside and found the white rabbit toy and a smaller, clear bag that contained the rabbit's button eye that had been torn away. "Thank you , Sir.." she whispered

"Let me know if she grows upset again, will you?" Wilson asked.

"I will, sir.." Kathryn said and left the doctor alone to finish his work.

She went to the nurse's station and retrieved the thread and needle from the tools cabinet and made her way to the sofa. She sat there for nearly a half an hour, resewing the toy's missing eye back onto its face. This caught the attention of a few other nurses who came and went every now and then. Once Kathryn was finished, she put the thread and needle away in its place and she left for Alice's room once more. Alice laid awake in her bed and didn't turn her face to the nurse when she entered the room. Kathryn approached Alice's bed slowly and tucked the toy rabbit under the blankets at Alice's side. Alice made no notice of this.

Upon Kathryn's turning to leave, she happened to take a quick glance at the mirror and saw Alice laying on the floor of some sort of circular shaped room with walls made of stone. The floor of it had a chessboard pattern that was made up of large dark grey and white squares. There was some sort of object floating nearby that gave off a light purple glow. Alice had her ice wand and the sleeping Cheshire cat at her side as well.

"So, you're sleeping again.." Kathryn whispered, and the cat's ear gave a twitch, as if he had heard her speak, but he didn't open his eyes. Kathryn turned away and gave the toy rabbit and Alice one last look before leaving the room for the evening.

Around 8:00 the next morning, Kathryn took the breakfast cart that was prepared for Alice from the kitchen area and wheeled it to Alice's room to feed her and give her more elixir. When Kathryn came close to Alice's bed, she saw that Alice had her arms wrapped around the toy and the missing eye was still attached to its face. Alice blinked several times before noticing that Kathryn was in the room with her, then making slow movements, she reached over to the left side of her and took another drawing from her desk. She stretched out her shivering hand to Kathryn, who took the drawing, then Alice laid her arm around the toy again.

The morning's light was just bright enough for Kathryn to see the details of Alice's new sketch. It was a drawing of a tall, thin, white rabbit. The picture showed him posed as if he were running over a metal floor, with three tall clocks in the background, and the rabbit was dressed in a dark top-hat and a long-tailed coat. He also had white cuffs around his ankles and wore black gloves. The rabbit was also clutching a pocket watch. Kathryn was too sure that this was the white rabbit that Alice had been traveling with earlier.

"Is this picture for me?"

Alice gave a short nod.

"Do you want me to give this to doctor Wilson?" Kathryn asked.

Alice slowly shook her head 'no'.

"Then.. I guess I'm keeping this one, hmm?" Kathryn gave Alice a smile and sat the paper down on the desk, then moved Alice's breakfast cart closer to the bed, being careful not to tip over the small glass of apple juice that stood beside the elixir vial. "Are you ready to eat this morning?"

Alice gave her another nod and parted her lips. Kathryn began spooning the food into Alice's mouth and she noticed that Alice was chewing and swallowing her food quite a bit faster than she was yesterday. This made feeding her go by more quickly and there were only a few bites left before Alice turned away from the food, having had enough. Then, Kathryn took the elixir and poured it in between Alice's parted lips. Alice gave the slightest shudder while swallowing it down.

"I'm sorry, dear.. I know the medicine doesn't taste good.. but if you don't take this willing for me, then the doctor will strap you down and force you to take it, and we both know you don't want that.."

Alice slowly shook her head and Kathryn put the empty vial away, then brought Alice's apple juice cup to Alice's lips. Alice took hold of the cup with her shivering hands and drank from it, cleansing her mouth of the elixir's awful after taste. Kathryn kept a good grip on the cup the entire time Alice drank so that she didn't spill it. Once the cup was empty, Kathryn set it back down on the tray. "Now, Alice, I'm going to leave you now.. but I'll be back in a hour to check up on you, alright?"

Alice nodded and Kathryn took the cart out of the room, along with her picture of the rabbit. She did show the picture of the rabbit to Wilson, and he was quite surprised by this act. He'd asked Kathryn to allow him to ask a very talented and professional artist he knew of to make a copy of Alice's picture for him, knowing that Alice had given it to Kathryn to keep. Kathryn allowed him to take the picture to be re-sketched.

It was several days later that Wilson returned the picture to Kathryn, now having his own identical copy of this art piece for his folders where he kept Alice's drawings. Kathryn placed Alice's sketch in her own folder with her own picture that she'd drawn of Alice. Alice, on the other hand, had fallen back into her silent state again, not speaking to anyone. She slept in Wonderland for days on end, as if she wanted to be neither in the asylum or Wonderland at all.. Kathryn was forced to wait again, but at least Alice still ate willingly. Every once in a while, though, she'd hear Alice whispering to herself, and that was it.

It wasn't until twelve days later, on May 4, that Kathryn's curiosity got the better of her. She'd heeded the cat's warning well about not placing a hand upon the mirror, but he never told her why.. but then again, she'd never asked.. Alice laid asleep in her bed, it was around 1:00 am and Kathryn was having trouble sleeping again, so she made her way to Alice's room to check up on her. Alice was laying in her bed with her eyes open, but her form in Wonderland was still sleeping in the same room, the ice wand beside her, only the cat was gone. Kathryn approached the mirror, wondering what would happen if she touched it.

Slowly, having made up her mind, she brought the tips of her fingers to the cold surface of the mirror. Nothing happened.. She placed her hand more firmly to the surface and, to her complete shock, the environment around her changed to a different, very large room. She snatched her hand away, but it was too late now. She found herself facing a mirror that had a dark frame and found that her reflection was quite different as well. Her hair had gone the color of a light blond and she was wearing a floor length, dark maroon coat that fit tight around the waist and a white, high collar shirt under the jacket. She was now in black pants and boots as well.

She barely had time to take all this in well before a figure moved up behind her and struck her hard in the back of the head. She gasped as her vision went slightly dark, and the next thing she knew, she was laying on the floor, trying to get her vision back into focus. She then felt a strong hand take hold of her hair, another pair of hands take hold of her upper arm, and they began dragging her over the floor. Pain went through her head where her hair was being pulled and after a few moments, the hands released her. She relaxed, and opened her eyes to find herself before a tall, wicked looking throne with a woman seated in it.

The stone walls of the room were a pink color, due to the red hue of the light. The floor was covered in a heart pattern and a long red carpet stretched all the way through the middle of the room. She noticed the mirror was on the left side of the throne.. It was now showing Alice's asylum room in its surface, and standing about twelve feet away from the throne. Kathryn looked to the sides of her and saw creatures that were obviously cards, but had heads and limbs. They carried long spears that had fresh blood stains on them.

Kathryn turned her eyes to the woman who stood up. She had long black hair down to her hips, and wore a tight, red and purple dress, with a long, red cloak. A large red heart was upon the chest of her dress and a tall, golden crown sat atop her head. Her face was very white, but her lips were blood red and her cheeks had a rose pink color to them. Her face was very beautiful, but very proud and cruel, and had a wicked sparkle in her blue eyes. She was clearly a queen.

There was a shinny axe resting against the side of her throne on its long handle of metal, which the Queen left it behind as she came close to Kathryn, giving the card creatures a nod. Kathryn felt the two cards grab hold of her arms and force her up to her knees. She tried her best to fight off the dizziness that came now and again.

Then she finally found her voice, trying to recover from having been nearly knocked out. "You.. You're her, aren't you? The Red Queen.. of Hearts?"

A cruel smile came to the queen's lips. "Indeed I am.. Very good guess, Kathryn.." she spoke, revealing a few sharp teeth on either side of her mouth, giving her the look of a vampire, in a way..

"You know my name?"

"Of course.. I've learned quite a lot about you and Alice since the cat gave you that mirror.. Clever creature, he is.. It allowed me to bring you here.. A Wonderland mirror can serve well as a portal.. if one has the knowledge of how to use it.."

"What do you want with me?" she asked, sinking a little bit lower to the floor, not feeling well.

"I know all that the Cheshire has told you, and I want you to do me a favor to ensure my victory over Alice.."

"Like what?" she asked, not liking where this conversation was going.

"You see, Kathryn, you seem like a reasonable woman.. and you know very well that I can't kill Alice here.. she's not even here.. and of course, she'll just return later.. but if I had her true body delivered to me, things.. might be different.."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I want you to return to your own world and bring me Alice's true body by way of the mirror's portal.. if I kill her in that form, then she'll die.. and I.. I'll be rid of her and I may-"

"I won't.." Kathryn said in a low voice.

"Pardon?" the Red Queen asked, placing a white hand on her hip.

"I said I won't do it.."

"Oh, yes, you will.. or I'll have your head.. You either bring me Alice and I'll spare you.. or refuse and have yourself killed.."

"I'll never hand her over to you.. It's your destiny to be killed.. by her.. I know that-" Kathryn stopped in mid sentence as a card raised his spear toward her throat, but he paused when the Red Queen raised her hand with a stern look toward him. He saw it immediately as a warning and lowered his spear.

The queen's expression calmed some. "Why do you care for her so much? She doesn't care for you in return and never has.. she hates you, the doctor and that asylum prison you have lock her up in.. she'd have a much greater peace of mind if she were dead.."

"You're lying.. We're only trying to help.. and she knows this.."

"All your help will be in vain, I'm afraid.. You're wasting your time.. Now, do we have a deal, Kathryn? Give Alice to me.. and I spare you.. so that you may return to your own parents and siblings.."

"I won't give her to you.. it doesn't matter what you say.. the cat would never forgive me if I did such a thing.."

"The cat is working for me, you fool! He gave you the mirror as a way to serve me.. he wants Alice destroyed as much as I do.." she said, a hint of red color showing in her face now.

Kathryn slowly shook her head, "That's not true.."

"Sure it is.."

"No, it's not.. I don't care what you tell me, I won't betray her.. and you won't make me.."

The queen clinched her fists, clearly infuriated, then came before Kathryn and slapped her hard across the face, hoping to force fear into the nurse. Kathryn winced, but immediately forced herself to recover from the stunning blow. The Red Queen glared at her for a moment, then walked to her throne and retrieved her axe. She turned back toward Kathryn, her eyes were icy and made her look as if she had murder in mind. "So, you won't agree to help me, then?"

"No.." Kathryn said as the queen came close before her again.

"I ask you this then: who will stop me from killing Alice once you're gone? No one in your world knows the truth about Wonderland or me.. Who's going to protect her from me, then?"

Kathryn hesitated, she wasn't sure what to say to that.

"That's what I thought.." the Red Queen said with a cold, triumphant smile, "you have no answer.."

The queen gave a nod toward the cards, who immediately force Kathryn to lay back, holding her hands tight together. One card grabbed her hair and pulled it back, forcing Kathryn to expose her neck. "Last chance to change your mind, Kathryn.. Will you help me?"

"I said no!" Kathryn nearly yelled, then her eyes widened some as the Red Queen raised her axe.

"Very well.. then die.."

Kathryn closed her eyes tight, then felt something grab hold of her arm in a hard pinch, then her head felt another sudden, strong dizzy spell. She heard a gasp from the Red Queen, then her furious shout of "No!"

The cards grip vanished and Kathryn collapsed to the floor, the back of her head hitting it hard. She gave a gasp of pain and forced her eyes open as the only pinching grip on her arm now was released. Her eyes came into focus and she found herself staring up at a grey ceiling. She looked to her side to find the piercing yellow eyes of the Cheshire cat staring back at her, with that familiar grin still spread across his face.

"Hello.." she whispered, placing a hand to the back of her head to rub the pain away some.

He blinked, "Hello.. Well.. It seems that curiosity almost killed the cat.."

"How'd you know I was here, cat?" Kathryn asked, sitting up and taking notice that she was in a small room in the white and black chess realm. There was a grey, wooden platform on one side of the room that looked as if it was built to raise up to a higher opening that lead to a walkway.

"The True Queen sent me a little message that you'd done just what I didn't want you to."

"I'm thankful she did.. and I'm sorry for not listening to you now.. I wish you would've told me what would happen.."

"Why? You would've tried it anyway, not believing me.. you'd make a wonderful Cheshire cat yourself, as curious as you are.."

She sat up, a new thought coming to mind, "Are you really working for the Red Queen, cat?" she asked, somewhat glaring at him.

"No, certainly not for a creature who doesn't deserve to call herself our Queen. She only told you that to try and turn you against me.. She knows well that I'm on Alice's side and always will be.. I care for Alice as you do.. and I want to help her in her task to heal herself as much as you do."

"Can the Red Queen truly kill Alice if I were dead?"

"No.. the only way Alice can enter into Wonderland in her physical form is by you bringing her through the mirror into Wonderland yourself, and the Red Queen knows it.. She can't hurt Alice while Alice is in the asylum.. No creatures - or the Queen - can come though that mirror I gave you and enter into your world, so they can't steal Alice's true form from her asylum room.. or else, the Red Queen would've already had Alice delivered to her.."

"And if Alice touches the mirror?"

"She can't.. Only you can.. That's why the Red Queen wanted you to bring Alice to her.. You could touch the glass.."

Kathryn's attention was turned away from him when the sound of soft footsteps caught her ear. She barely had time to turn in the direction when Alice herself came into Kathryn's view and knelt down beside her, a worried look on her face.

"Alice," Kathryn whispered and moved her arms around the tiny girl's shoulders to pull her into a tight hug. Alice smiled and returned the hug.

"I was very worried when Cheshire told me you were actually here in the Red Queen's throne room." Alice said, trying not to look upset.

"I'm sorry, Alice.. I had no idea that something like this would come of touching the mirror.." Kathryn whispered.

"Well, perhaps next time the cat gives you a warning, you'll listen to him.. Yes?" she said, a hint of a smile touched her pale pink lips.

"Yes.. I should.." Kathryn said with a smile. "I sort of wish I could stay here with you, though.."

The cat finally spoke up, "I hate to cut your meeting short, Alice.. but the longer Kathryn's here, the longer she's in danger of the Red Queen sending the card guards or red chess soldiers after her.. She's physically here and is capable of dying.. and if she dies, she won't return to the asylum like you, Alice.. She needs to leave as soon as possible.."

"Alright," Alice said, looking at the cat, "but if she could come here now, then I'm sure it can happen again later.. something tells me that it'd be best to discuss that after my destiny is completed and the Red Queen is dead," she turned to look at Kathryn again before continuing, "so.. you won't be in any danger here. Maybe the True Queen would allow you to come here if I requested it of her.. She's very kind, according to Cheshire.."

Cheshire spoke then, "And Alice needs to stay focused on her mission, Kathryn.. You might be a bit of a distraction to her, no offense, of course.."

"I understand.. and umm.. by the way, thanks for saving me.." she whispered, giving him a small smile.

His grin widened, "Any time.. Besides, Alice would've killed me if I'd let you die, knowing well that I had the chance.. and ability.. to save you.."

"Yes, I probably would have.." Alice said, her expression becoming serious.

"Can I ask you something?" Kathryn whispered, turning to Alice.

"Sure," Alice said.

"What are these glowing objects I see floating everywhere?"

Before Alice could answer, the cat spoke up, "You two excuse me.. I'll be right back.." then vanished immediately.

Alice pardoned him with a nod, then turned her attention back to Kathryn, "The objects are called Meta Essence.." she said, answering Kathryn's question, "They're the life force of Wonderland.. I can use them like medicine as a way to keep my sanity in check as well as increase my will power, so to say.. They're very useful.."

"I see.." Kathryn whispered, looking rather disappointed now.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, loosening her grip in the hug some.

"It's.. it's just that.. I really do wish to stay here with you, where you're alive, but the cat's right.. I would be a distraction to you.. and I can't abandon my work in the hospital.. Wilson may fire me if I were to up and vanish suddenly without a word to anyone.." Kathryn said, seeming to have made up her mind about where she needed to be.

"And I need your help in the asylum.." Alice said, "I rather you be there than here.. I know you'll be safe there.. and I trust you.. You don't try to hurt me.."

"I wouldn't.."

"And thanks for returning my little rabbit to me.. I missed him."

"So, it is a him?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes, it's a him.."

"Why'd you cry.. when I sewed the toy's eye back on for you?" Kathryn asked, now hoping to get a good answer.

A sad look came to Alice's eyes now, "Because the rabbit had two eyes when I was with my family.. Giving my rabbit his other eye reminded me of home.. I miss my family and the life I had terribly.. I couldn't help but cry.. Anyone who loved their family and can never be with them again would cry.."

Kathryn gave a sad nod. "I'm sure they would.."

Alice continued, "And the white rabbit died as well.. back in September, leaving me alone and lost.. just like my entire family did.. it still upsets me.. It helped some to cry, but it didn't fix the problem.. and now it's just.. everyone that I care about here seems to be dying.. and I can't help them.. and, in a way, the Caterpillar blamed me for Wonderland being the horrible place it is right now.."

"Wilson suspected that the new thread meant a change to you.. it made you face this new reality for a moment.."

"Yes, you could say that.. It's a reality I didn't want anything to do with at that moment.."

"I understand.. " Kathryn whispered. "..but Alice, we can't help you if you won't open up and talk to us.. Wilson has no real idea how to help you and, I confess, neither do I, really.. All our efforts are mostly a waste."

"It's not time yet.. I'll tell when the time is right.. and please don't let them kill me, if the suggestion comes up.." Alice said.

"I won't.. and Wilson won't allow that either.. he knows you have some will to live." Kathryn paused for a moment. "So, what happened to the rabbit's missing eye?"

"I was visiting the children's room in the hospital that I was at before coming to Rutledge and one of the stupid children, a selfish child older than me, wanted my rabbit for herself.. She tried to take it from me, but my grip on the rabbit was so tight that when she attempted to snatched him away from me by his face, she tore the eye off. Then, I stood up and hit her across the face, knocking her to the ground. From that moment on, I wasn't allowed around the other children, not that I minded.. I hated them.. and the doctors didn't care about my broken toy, so they just threw the button away.."

"Lovely story.." the Cheshire's voice broke in. "Alright, it's time to go, Kathryn.."

Alice and Kathryn broke apart from their hug as a mirror appeared behind Cheshire. Its frame was decorated with vines of silver and it showed Alice's asylum room in its surface. There was a 5 inch tall bottle at Cheshire's feet that had a tag tied to its neck that read, "Drink Me". He picked the bottle up in his claws and held it out to Kathryn. "Here.. drink this now.."

"What is it?" Kathryn ask as she took up the bottle, her and Alice standing up at last.

"It's extra protection.. A gift for you from the True Queen.. she said you may only keep your mirror if you drink this.." Cheshire told her.

"Alright.." Kathryn whispered and opened the bottle. She began to drink the light pink liquid within and found it to be surprisingly warm and having a very pleasant taste. As soon as she finished the last drop, a warming sensation went through her entire body and as soon as it came, it left again.

"That's that.." the cat said, "..Now follow me."

Before Kathryn did this, she turned back to Alice, "You are going to kill the Red Queen, aren't you?"

"That's what they say I'm here for.. and the Caterpillar told me that is what needs to be done.. and everyone is calling me the Champion.. destined to come and save them.. I'm sure you get the idea.."

"Do you believe that?"

"No.. but they do.. for some reason, they need me.. So, I'm making myself stay and fight.. for their sake, at least.." Alice said, "and one more thing, Kathryn.."

"Yes?"

"If I don't speak to you.. in the asylum.. Please don't take it the wrong way.. I have my reasons.. as I've said, I'll talk when the time is right.. I promise, I will.. until then, you'll have the mirror to keep up with my travels here in Wonderland.. and there's always Cheshire.. he can come and speak with you if you have anything to talk about involving Wonderland or me.. Alright?"

"Alright.. I'll remember that.." Kathryn whispered, "And another thing I want to ask you, Alice.. When you're in the asylum, in that trance state, what are you feeling?"

"I.. I feel broken, sad.. Empty.. but I am getting better.. That is when I'm in the asylum, and not here in Wonderland.. When I'm in Wonderland, my body is lifeless in the asylum because my mind isn't there to see or feel anything.. I'm completely unaware of what is happening in the asylum while I'm here.. but just continue to help me, and I will heal.."

"I hope so.."

"Kathryn?" Alice asked.

"Yes?"

"Where will I go after I heal in the asylum? Where will I live? I have no one to take care of me, no home -"

"Alice, you have two aunts and an uncle, and all three love you very much.. Wilson has already spoken to them and they say they'll be happy to have you come stay with them, when you're healed."

"I think I stayed with one of my aunts, after my family perished.. and when I tried to hurt myself because of it, she called the doctors and they sent me to the hospital.. I remember that she began crying when she was told by the doctors that I couldn't return to live with her until I was healed, which may take a really long time.. considering how bad my condition was.."

Cheshire broke in loudly, "Again, I say, the longer she's here, the greater danger she's in, Alice!"

Alice nodded, "He's right, you should leave.." Alice whispered, knowing well that Kathryn didn't want to. "Don't worry, I'll talk to you soon.. Alright?"

"Alright.."

"And don't worry about me here, I'll be fine.."

"I know.. Good luck.."

"Thanks.." Alice said with a small smile.

Kathryn then turned away from her and watched Cheshire step away through the mirror, motioning for her to follow. She glanced back at Alice, then took her turn to walk through the mirror. To her surprise, she didn't feel a thing as she did so, only her clothing changed back to her nurse uniform again and her hair was black once more. It was no different than walking through a doorway into a cold room. She found herself back in the dark asylum with the Cheshire, it was still early in the morning.

Moon light was streaming through the window, brightening up the room very well, allowing Kathryn to see Alice and the cat's figures very well. She turned back to the mirror to see Alice taking a seat beside the wall near the platform, watching them in mirror that was standing before her.

"Now," the Cheshire whispered, getting Kathryn's attention, "that potion the True Queen gave you will allow you to be unable to touch this mirror again.. so you'll be protected and won't travel through it anymore."

"How did the Red Queen know?"

"Because she's been spying on you and Alice in the asylum.. the True Queen and I discovered that she enchanted her own mirror to combined with yours.. and she did this so that her mirror's portal would pull you into her realm where her mirror sat if you ever placed a hand on your own mirror. It's easily done, I'm afraid.. Yet, the True Queen has ways of protection against that.."

"Why didn't she stop this before it happened?"

"Because she never thought you'd disobey me and she wasn't aware of what the Red Queen had done until it was too late.. When you passed through the mirror, she sensed it.. and came to me to ask me to help you.. After all, she can't watch us every day.. she has a lot of work to do, you know.."

"I'm sure she does.." Kathryn said as she took a step closer to her mirror and tried to place a hand to it, but her finger tips never met the surface, they merely passed through it as if the mirror was just an illusion.

"See?" the Cheshire said, a happy note to his voice, "She can't pull you through it now.. and no, she's not happy about this one tiny bit.." he gave a pleased smile.

Kathryn pushed her hand further into the mirror until her finger tips met the wall behind it. "Very interesting.."

"Indeed.. Now I'll leave you, before some one happens to see me.. You take care of Alice.."

"Trust me, I will.." she said, pulling her arm out of the mirror, and watching Alice in the chess realm closing her eyes to sleep again.

"And tell none of this to anyone.."

"I promise I won't tell.." Kathryn assured him with a smile.

"Good.."

The cat then vanished from her sight. Kathryn walked over to Alice's bed to check on her.. Alice's eyes were closed, but she was whispering, her words were unrecognizable. Kathryn stroked some of Alice's hair and tucked the rabbit toy closer to Alice before leaving the room for the night.

Her only hope now was that Alice would be healed by fulfilling her own destiny. Alice was strong enough to do so, Kathryn knew that.. she made her way to an empty bed in the nurse's station and laid on it, removing her slippers and wrapping the warm blankets around her.. she closed her eyes, her thoughts still immersed in Wonderland.. and realizing just how tired she really was at that point, it didn't take her long to drift off to sleep herself for the rest of the early morning.

o0o0o

Alice remained quiet in the asylum walls for days afterward, yet in Wonderland, she continued her traveling through the white chess realms. She barely spoke a word to Kathryn, but the nurse made sure Alice was well taken care of while she waited for Alice to come around.

Alice did produce one picture, however. It was of a lovely woman with long, white hair and she was wearing a white gown and a crown upon her head. She was posed standing at the top of a staircase that seemed to be in the chess realm and three white chess pieces were bowing before her. Kathryn assumed that this lady must be a white queen of some sort, but Alice never spoke to Kathryn about the lady when she was asked.

It wasn't until the morning of June 1 that Alice finally spoke again. Kathryn had walked into Alice's room to check on her and found Alice sitting up on the bed, looking more alive than usual and stroking the soft ear of her toy rabbit that sat on her lap.

"Good morning, Alice.."

"Kathryn?" Alice whispered, turning her face towards the nurse. "I'm ready to tell.."

"To tell what?" Kathryn asked, coming closer to Alice.

"I'm ready to tell doctor Wilson about Wonderland.."

"Are you then?"

"Yes.."

"Would you like to speak with him alone or may I listen?"

"Of course you can listen.." Alice said with a smile, "but don't let him know that you already knew about Wonderland.. for me.."

"Alright.. I'll get your breakfast and call Wilson to your room.."

Alice nodded and watched Kathryn leave. Alice didn't have long to wait before doctor Wilson entered her room with a clip board and pen, he was followed by Kathryn who had Alice's breakfast on a short cart. She carefully wheeled the cart into the room, moving it slowly so as not to spill Alice's glass of apple juice.

"Alice?" Wilson whispered, "You wanted to see me."

She smiled, strangely, then spoke, "There's a peculiar world I visit, doctor.. It's called Wonderland.."

The doctor took several steps closer to her bed to hear her soft voice better. "Wonderland?"

"Yes.."

"Do you go there often?"

"Yes.."

Alice's awareness seemed to fade for a moment, then she whispered, "In this world.. sweet potions make you small.. Cakes make you tall.. Beware the snark's poisonous spit.. Don't stray close to the water's edge.. I keep the cards at my side.. Roll the demon dice wisely, or the game turns on you.. Note: the Centipede has a tender underbelly.. It brought his down fall.. I enjoy the taste of mushrooms, but not the ones that bite back.. Books float and animals speak.. and I have a mission to complete.."

"It sounds interesting.." Kathryn whispered, having never heard of these creatures or magic objects of Wonderland before. Being told all this felt just as new to her as it was to Wilson.

"What mission do you have?" the doctor asked, but Alice went silent and turned her eyes to the window, gazing out at the early morning rays of light. The doctor came closer to her. "What mission, Alice?"

She only shook her head and turned her eyes to Kathryn. "I'm hungry now.." she whispered.

"Maybe she'll tell us more later.." Kathryn suggested as she brought the cart close to the bed. Alice moved closer to the edge of her bed and laid her rabbit against the pillows.

Doctor Wilson only rubbed his eyes, trying not to look tired. "Well, if she says anything more to you, Kathryn, inform me of what she says.. Alright?"

"I'll be sure to do that.." Kathryn assured him and the doctor left the room. Kathryn gave a glance over to the mirror. Alice was still in the white chess realm, in a dark hallway. She sat asleep with the Cheshire curled up beside her. He was waiting for her to return, Kathryn was sure of that.

"Alice?" Kathryn asked as she began spooning food into Alice's mouth. "What's a Snark?"

Alice smiled and Kathryn waited for her to swallow down her food before she spoke, "A snark is a creature with the body of a blue and purple fish and has the legs of a frog.. They dwell in water, they spit poison and they have a very long tongue that they use to catch their prey.. in the same way that a frog catches insects.."

"Oh really?"

"Yes.. Bizarre things.." Alice said with a smile, "I once used my vorpal knife to slice one's tongue off after it stuck its tongue to me to try and pull me into the water.. the tongue is very sticky.."

"I would believe so.." Kathryn said as she spooned more food to Alice.

Alice spoke again once her food was swallowed down. "I spoke to the white king of the chess realm recently.. He wants me to save his queen.. She's been captured.."

"Is that so?"

Alice nodded.

"Are you going to save her?"

"Yes.. He says that saving her will help him and I.. They need her to win their own war against the Red pieces.."

"I see.." Kathryn spooned more food from the plate, then paused to look at Alice.

Alice could tell that Kathryn was in thought about her. "What is it?" Alice asked, looking concerned.

"You know, Alice, if you feel well enough to speak so decently, you should be able to do this yourself.."

Alice flinched slightly as Kathryn held the spoon out to her, she then slid the plate of food closer to Alice with her other hand. "Come on.. I know you can do this.. Try.." she said, her voice full of encouragement.

Alice nodded and slowly took the spoon in her hand, clutching it so tight that her knuckles went white. She wasn't so sure about feeding herself. The spoon trembled a bit in her grip and Kathryn watched as she slowly scooped up some food, then brought the food into to her mouth. Once she'd chewed and swallowed her food, she cleared her throat and whispered, "But what about the times I'm not here?"

"I'll feed you then.. I've been doing that for you for years.." Kathryn said with a small smile, "but you're here now.. Come on now, eat more than this.. you barely ate anything last night.."

Alice nodded and began to spoon the rest of her breakfast into her mouth, holding the spoon more steady with every bite she gave herself. Once most of her food was gone, she set the spoon on the plate and reach both hands over the cart. She took hold of her glass cup and carefully brought it to her lips. The glass trembled every now and then as she drank from it. Then she placed it back on the cart once she was finished.

"Very good.." Kathryn whispered, "Now, I'm not going to let Wilson know of this until you're stable enough to eat on your own for sure.. Alright?"

"Won't you get into hot water with him for keeping secrets about me like this?" Alice asked.

"Yes, I'm sure I would.. but I don't want to get his hopes up about your condition.. Just in case you decide to shut yourself away from us again.."

Alice nodded and Kathryn took Alice's medicine vial from the cart, removed the cap, and gave it to Alice. "Don't spill it.."

Alice took it slowly and drank all of it down, then handed the vial back to Kathryn.

o0o0o

Later that day, Kathryn made Alice eat her lunch and dinner half way on her own. Alice made no fuss about it, much to Kathryn's relief. The next day, Alice spoke a little more to Wilson about Wonderland. She told him all about the strange creatures that fill her world. He was over all surprised to hear all about her dream world, he never imagined her capable to dream up such creatures and realms.

Over the next few days, Alice's mind had left the asylum from time to time, so Kathryn had to resort to feeding Alice herself. Occasionally, Alice would request to see Wilson and speak a little more to him about Wonderland, leading him to suspect that the medication was at its proper dosage by now.

Kathryn had also noticed that Alice's trip through Wonderland had taken her to a chess realm that was red and white themed. The stone walls of the castles and halls were splattered with blood and even the water of the fountains and pools looked like blood. All in all, it was a very unpleasant place. Alice made her travels through it, battling chess pieces every now and then.

During the afternoon of June 8, Wilson sat in Alice's room and listened to her as she told him about her trip through the white chess realms to save the white pieces. Every now and then, Alice would request to speak to Wilson about Wonderland. He listened, not entirely sure what to make of her dream world she'd created. She seemed quite civil most the time. Kathryn kept an eye on the mirror. Alice had completed her mission in the chess realm and was soon in a maze of mirrors within a week.

Wilson informed Kathryn on the day of June 11, that he accidentally dozed off for a moment during one of his and Alice's meetings, and he awoke to find Alice pulling his pocket watch fob in an attempt to take his watch from him. He decided that shackles would be used on her for further sessions, and if she behaves, he'd no longer use the shackles. Wilson also removed her pencils from her room to punish her for this action. He was curious to see what she'd do, having no pencils to produce any art with, as she did like to draw quite a bit.

The next morning when he spoke with Alice again, she merely whispered, "Mange ridden to the core, he leads me through the fray.. With the toss of a Jackbomb, I clear abominations from our way.."

Wilson realized that without pencils to express her creativity on paper, she began to recite poetry to please herself. He wrote down the poem on his clipboard paper as she spoke it out loud, and he asked her to describe to him a Jackbomb. She said that she would if he returned her pencils to her, and obviously, he agreed. That evening, she gave Kathryn a picture to give to him. The picture was of a Jack In The Box creature that was clearly explosive. Alice told Kathryn that it was the Jackbomb that Wilson wanted her to describe to him yesterday.

She also produced a picture of two, heavy-weighted, grotesque looking men in striped clothing. One was very tall, the other was rather short. Alice told Kathryn that these two fools were the Tweedle brothers: Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum and that they agreed to work for the Hatter by helping him run his funhouse. Alice also said they liked to tease and insult her, as the orderlies did. She was furious with them because they used to be her friends when she was younger, but now the Hatter had turned them against her.

But through this all, Alice never displayed any type of violent temper until the afternoon of June 17. Wilson had entered Alice's room at around 5:00 pm, bringing with him a cart that had a tea pot and several tea cups placed on it. He was hoping she would enjoy a bit of tea and it would help her to feel a little better. Kathryn stood in the doorway, watching. Alice was sitting on the bed, whispering to her rabbit with her lips close to its velvety ear.

"Alice?"

Alice paused in her whispering, then slowly turned her head toward him. "Yes, doctor?.."

"Would you like some tea today?" he asked, moving the cart right next to Alice's bed, so that the tea things were in her reach.

"No, thank you.." she whispered and turned her face back to the rabbit.

"Why? Most people your age like tea, Alice.." Wilson took up the tea pot and poured a cup of tea.

Alice glanced at him.

"It might make you feel better.." Wilson persisted.

"I said no.." Alice said, her voice growing more icy.

"Here.." Wilson whispered, holding a cup of tea out to her.

"Take it away." Alice told him, her brows starting to narrow in anger.

"Not until you take one cup of -"

Alice suddenly reached over and took the tea pot by its handle, then she flung it across the room. It smashed hard against the wall, scattering into several pieces and splashing steaming tea all over the wall and floor.

"How many times must I tell you ? !" she demanded, "I only take tea with friends!" Alice yelled, then, she turned away from him and buried her face in her pillow, "Take it AWAY!"

Wilson only shook his head in disappointment and looked over at Kathryn, who was looking slightly alarmed still.

She entered the room, came over to Alice's side and placed a hand on Alice's shoulder to comfort her some. "Well, so much for tea time.. Don't worry about the tea pot, sir.. I'll clean that up.." she told Wilson.

"Very well.. Thank you.." Wilson said, "We'll try tea again some other time.. Perhaps when she's in better tempers and more stable.." He strolled the tea cart out of the room and Kathryn left the room as well. She returned ten minutes later with a towel. Alice watched as Kathryn cleaned up the tea and carefully placed the broken pieces of the tea pot onto the towel. She turned around to see Alice staring at her.

"Why did you do that?" Kathryn asked, feeling rather upset at Alice about having this unnecessary outburst.

"I hate tea.." Alice whispered, "The Hatter loves tea.. and I hate him.. I don't want anything to do with him or his invitations to tea.. He's cruel to me and he serves the Red Queen.. The Cheshire cat said so. The Hatter's not to be trusted -"

"Doctor Wilson is not the Hatter, Alice!" Kathryn said in a rather cross voice, her temper rising a little.

"I know that.." Alice said, laying her head on the pillow more comfortably. "But I won't take tea from him.."

"Why? Do you hate him? You sure talk to him a lot.."

"I don't hate him.. I.. He helps me -" she whispered, looking unsure of what to say.

"And that's what he was trying to do today. Help you -" Kathryn said, folding her arms and coming closer to the bed.

"I won't have tea!"

"You will have at least one cup before you leave this asylum.. I'll see to that.." Kathryn told her.

Alice gave Kathryn an aggravated frown and then buried her face back into her pillow, ignoring her for the rest of the day.

* * *

NOTE: R/R if ya like.. and again, sorry for any errors I've missed.. :/


	4. I Fear Nothing

NAME: Watching Over Her [Ch. 4 - I Fear Nothing]

SERIES: American McGee's Alice

SUMMARY: This is a fic about Nurse D [among others] and her time spent in the asylum watching over Alice in her demented state.

CONTAINS: Mild language, a little violence, slight hinting of girl/girl affection.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own American McGee's Alice or its characters in any way.

NOTES: In this fic, Wonderland is a real place, not a dream in Alice's head.

RATED: T [for Teen]

* * *

The days passed on, one by one.. Alice hardly spent any time in Wonderland. Kathryn got Alice to tell her about the Hatter and his funhouse mirror maze.. Alice didn't like the Hatter's funhouse at all. She wanted nothing to do with him and she repeatedly ignored the Cheshire cat's summons for her to return and finish her trip through his lair. She laid in the asylum day after day, hardly speaking to anyone. She wouldn't talk to Wilson anymore.

She wanted nothing to do with anyone and if they bothered her, her temper became a hateful one. Wilson decided on the morning of June 18 that he would stop giving her elixirs, but only give her a high dosage of Laudanum when she was in some of her worst tempers. Kathryn, of course, was uncertain and a bit alarmed about his new treatment method, knowing well that Alice needed the medicine to help maintain her sanity. But Wilson insisted on this method and wouldn't take no for a possible answer. So, she dealt with this as well as she could.

Late that night, while Kathryn laid awake and alone in the dark nurse's station, she finally felt Cheshire needed to know. And, trying not to feel completely foolish, she whispered, "Cheshire cat? I need a word with you." into the darkened room. It only took a moment, but she felt movement beside her and, turning her eyes to her right, she saw Cheshire sitting beside her arm.

"Hello.. You called?" he purred, laying down beside her and looking quite content on the warm bed.

"Yes.. You should know that Doctor Wilson has decided that he's going to suspend all her medications.. All but one when she's foul tempered.. I'm not so sure this is a clever idea.. not for Alice's treatment, anyways.."

"Oh really?" the cat asked, looking not at all troubled by this news.

"Yes.. Do you think this would be at all good for Alice's health, cat?" Kathryn asked in turn.

"We'll see.. As long as Alice is alive, she'll be alright.." the Cheshire whispered, "..but.. she needs to return to Wonderland. She's needed more than she knows there.."

"She doesn't want to be in the Hatter's maze.."

"I know.. but she has no choice.. if she wants to save herself and us.. that, or she'll just waste away here until she's completely useless and unable to feel anything.."

"We're trying not to let that happen.. Wilson hates to fail in healing a patient under his care.. and I certainly don't want to watch Alice fade to nothing now.." Kathryn whispered, tucking the pillow more comfortably under her hair and keeping her eyes turned to the cat.

"Just give it time.. She'll come around.. She's very willful now.. and getting a little stronger every day.."

"That's some comfort.." Kathryn said with a smile.

"Well, I'll leave you to sleep for now.. Just trust me, she'll be perfectly safe.."

"You really think so?"

The cat gave her an assuring nod, then vanished. Kathryn turned her eyes away and laid there in the silence, her mind still spinning with questions and worry, until she fell into sleep.

o0o0o0o

Kathryn noticed over the next days to follow that Alice had dipped back into her quiet daze. She still refused to speak. Every other day or so, someone could hear her talking while she was alone in her room. Sometimes Kathryn or Wilson or a few other nurses would stop and listen at her door. They would catch her saying terrible things about the Red Queen, though Wilson had no idea who this was that Alice was talking about killing mercilessly. The nurses were becoming disturbed with Alice speaking of such violence. Kathryn knew well what Alice was enraged about, and hoped that Alice would return to finish her destiny soon.

But yet, Alice never returned. Wilson had guessed that Alice was speaking to her toy rabbit, telling it of all her anger. Kathryn believed it also might've been the Cheshire that she spoke to during his visits to her room now and then. Wilson soon decided that giving her cold salt water treatments may help to cleanse her mind of this violent thinking. He started those treatments on the afternoon of June 26 and during the following days, her temper and violent words did seem to fade a bit, much to the relief of several nurses. Yet, Alice kept whispering words that none could really understand when she was left alone and she wouldn't eat on her own.

After several treatments, Alice soon began speaking to Wilson again from time to time about Wonderland and the war against the Red Queen of Hearts during their meetings. Wilson had tried several times to get Alice to draw this Red Queen during their conversations, but she refused to do this. It was clear Alice hated this creature with a twisted passion.

During the late afternoon of June 28, a strong storm had made its way over the asylum, pounding it rather hard. This wasn't unusual for this time of year, but it got through to Alice a bit. The time was around 10:30 pm. Kathryn had just finished with her own dinner and was just about to lay down for the night to sleep when one of the nurses came to her bed she'd chosen and woke her.

"Kathryn?"

"Mmmm? Yes?" Kathryn whispered, rubbing her eyes to try and focus.

"It's Alice.. she wants to speak to you right now.."

Kathryn immediately got up, rather happy about this news, since Alice hadn't spoken to her in days. She slipped on her shoes, then walked quickly to Alice's room and opened the door. Lightening flashed, and Kathryn could just barely see Alice laying in her bed for a split second before the light faded, sending the room into darkness again. "Alice?" she whispered, coming further into the cold room.

"Yes?" Alice whispered.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I did.. Alone.."

Kathryn closed the door and came to sit on the bed beside Alice and her toy. "Well, dear? What did you want to speak to me about?"

"I want you to stay here with me.."

"You do?"

"Yes.. Lay here with me.."

Kathryn began feeling uncomfortable. "Dear, I don't think that's a good idea.. Nurses are not allowed to -"

"Please?" Alice asked, raising her head up a little.

"Well.. I'll stay with you until the storm is over.. Alright?" Kathryn whispered.

"Alright.." Alice moved over some and Kathryn sat closer beside her in silence for a moment. The rain was tapping against the window rather loud and lightening would light up the room every few moments.

"Lay down.. There's plenty of room.." Alice whispered, moving her rabbit toy to the other side of her.

Kathryn slipped of her shoes and laid down beside Alice, placing her head comfortably on the pillow. Then she laid there in silence, watching the storm against the window across from her and Alice.

"Kathryn.. The Cheshire keeps calling to me.. He wants me to go back to Wonderland.." Alice whispered.

"Then perhaps you should.." Kathryn whispered, her body relaxing some on the warm bed.

"I hate to admit it, but the Hatter was right about me.." Alice whispered. "I told him that I feared nothing.. but he saw right through that.. He says I fear the truth.. about my family.. and that I'm refusing to believe it.. Yet, the Caterpillar says I need to embrace that truth and grow up.. I don't think I'm strong enough to embrace it.. I hate to think that I'm afraid of this truth.. but I am. I don't want to face it anymore.. but they keep flinging it back at me.."

"Those loyal to the Red Queen know your destiny.. and I think they're trying to break you down and make you leave Wonderland as a way to protect their Red Queen from her death.." Kathryn whispered, moving a little closer to Alice to hear her better over the loud rain. "I really think you should return.. I think overcoming the Queen and those who serve her might help you.. Cheshire believes that as well.. and.. you're very strong willed.."

"Destroying her won't bring my family back, they're gone forever.."

"Yes, I know this.. and it seems to me that you're well on your way to accepting the truth.." Kathryn whispered.

"I'm being forced to accept it.. but saving Wonderland won't help -"

"How do you know that? It might.. and you'll be saving your friends as well.. Don't you think you're family would be proud of you for saving them?"

Alice only shook her head. "I don't know.. it doesn't matter much to me anymore.. I have nothing left.."

"Alice, I don't want to see Wonderland destroyed by the Red Queen.. I want you to save it. I know many other creatures in Wonderland do as well.."

Alice didn't look convinced.

Kathryn continued, "Are you really going to allow all those creatures who care about you to die.. when you can save them? Your mission gives you a purpose, Alice.. and.. I don't want you to waste away to nothing here.. Wonderland keeps you from doing that.. It keeps you alive and gives you a reason to live.."

Alice turned her eyes to Kathryn, a pondering expression on her features.

"You see.." Kathryn whispered, "If you can make yourself completely numb and deaf to everything we here in the asylum say or do to you, then why can't you do the same to the creatures of the Red Queen that are wishing to break you down before you reach her?"

Alice sniffled a bit, making Kathryn think that Alice was about to cry and Kathryn slowly wrapped her arms around Alice's small, thin form. She then pulled Alice close, and Kathryn allowed Alice to lay her face on her shoulder. Alice sighed deeply, as if trying to sigh her sorrows out of her mind, and she relaxed her body. Kathryn began to stroke her fingertips through Alice's hair in a soothing way to stop her from any possible crying. They laid there in silence for a few moments until Alice spoke a question that had come to her mind.

"Kathryn?"

"Yes?"

"Remember the Tweedle brothers that I drew?"

"Yes.."

"They told me that I was your favorite.. Is that true?"

Kathryn smiled, "My favorite what?"

"Patient.." Alice said, not bothering to say that they actually called her the "nurse's favorite lunatic". She figured it'd be best to leave that out. She broke away from this thought when Kathryn whispered again.

"How'd they know that?"

"The Hatter knows much about me.. More than likely, he learned of you from the Red Queen.. and those stupid Tweedles learned of you from the Hatter, I suppose.. but it doesn't matter now.. The Tweedles are dead.. I killed them myself.. with some advice from Cheshire.. But were they right? Am I your favorite?"

"Yes, you are.. All the nurses here know that, as well as Wilson.."

"And why am I your favorite?"

"I.. I'm not sure exactly.. I guess I just feel such sympathy for you.. None of the other patients here have lost their entire family.. and well.. I sort of took on a responsibility to care for you.. and the better I got to know you, over these past years, I became especially fond of you.. and you seem to like me in some sense as well.. You've never tried to hurt me.. You depend on me.. I'm sure of that.."

"Yes, I do.. Now more than ever, as you know me better than any other doctor here.."

"By knowing you better, you mean your trips to Wonderland?"

"Exactly.. That, and other things that you've learned about me here in the asylum.." Alice paused for a moment, then tugged her rabbit closer. ""Does Doctor Wilson tell you what he thinks about me?"

"Yes.. From time to time.."

"Does he hate me ..or think I'm insane?"

"He doesn't hate you.. and he doesn't quite think you're insane.. He sees Wonderland as a dream world you created in your own mind to escape your trauma.. and that's not uncommon for a lot of people who are suffering to do, even the sane do that.. I know Wonderland isn't a dream.. but Wilson has never been there like I have.. so he'd be a lot harder to convince that Wonderland isn't just a fantasy land to you, it's.. in a way.. the key to your survival.."

"Cheshire and Caterpillar have said the same.."

"And I agree with them.." Kathryn said, wearing a rather serious look.

"Why did Wilson try to make me drink tea? Honestly?"

"What he really wanted was to see if you can behave properly ..with decent manners. People always have tea at six and he was wondering how you would act at about tea drinking.. since you've never drank it here.. He thinks we should keep to juice now.."

"My governess taught me decent manners.." Alice whispered, sounding a little offended.

Kathryn gave a small smirk. "Decent manners don't involve throwing the tea pot across the room.."

"What did you expect? I was upset and wanted to be alone.." Alice said with a tired smile.

"We got that message.." Kathryn's eyes came to rest on the toy laying at Alice's side. "So.. how come you didn't remove his button eye this time?"

"Why did you sew his eye back on?"

"To see if.. well, after we had our talk in the chess realm.. I was hoping I'd help you to feel a bit better.. I never did that to upset you.. I just wanted to fix your toy for you.."

"I thought that was the reason.. I made myself see the new sewing as a gift from you, not a unpleasant change.. so I gave you a gift in return so that you knew I didn't mind.. and honestly, I was happy to have him returned to me.." Alice said, holding the rabbit more closely to her chest, her eyes looking tired. "I thought Wilson got rid of him.."

"No.. I asked him to let me give him back to you.. He just wanted to know what taking the rabbit from you would do to your mental state.."

"My mental state didn't like it.. I come back to the asylum and my rabbit is gone.. How's that for a fine welcome back?"

"Sorry.."

"Please don't let Wilson take my rabbit from me again.. I like to have someone to talk to while I'm alone.."

"So.. he's who you talk to when you're alone with the door closed.."

"Sometimes.. Or I talk to myself or Cheshire cat. He makes regular visits.." she said, closing her eyes for a moment as if she were almost about to drift off to sleep.

"I'm rather impressed by how well you're conversation is tonight.."

"I'm not stupid after all.." she whispered, her eyes still closed, "If I can have an intelligent conversation with creatures in Wonderland, then I could have one here with you.. if I wished to do so.."

"So, would you mind if I asked how you came to receive the rabbit?"

She opened her eyes some, recalling the memory. "It was a gift from my older sister as a birthday present when I was seven.. She thought my stories about Wonderland were cute.. and since I liked the white rabbit, she bought me a toy rabbit.."

Kathryn turned her eyes to the sky outside the window. The dark clouds were moving across the moonlight quickly and the rain had let up some. Alice's eyes were closed again and Kathryn watched as Alice's arm slid back down to the bed, she tugged the thick blanket up closer to her chin to make herself more comfortable. Just watching this made Kathryn feel very tired herself.

"Are you going to sleep now, Alice?"

"The medicine makes me want to sleep all the time.."

"Ah, I see.. The perhaps we should tell Wilson this?"

"You can.. if you want.."

"Alright.." Kathryn whispered, feeling too tired and cozy to get up.

Both of them fell silent for a while, listening to the soft rain, and soon, Alice had finally drifted off to sleep, her breathing was soft. Hopefully she wouldn't have any fit tonight and she'd wake in the asylum in the morning. Kathryn decided to take the risk of staying with her the rest of the night and she allowed herself to relax, then she fell into a deep sleep beside Alice.

o0o0o0o

"Kathryn.. Wake up.. now.."

Kathryn let her eyes slowly open to see Sarah staring down at her, wearing a very upset frown. The breakfast cart sitting a the door. Kathryn soon realized what had happened and she sat up, glancing over at Alice. Alice had her head on the pillow, her eyes staring at Sarah, some amount of dislike showing in them.

"What are you doing?" Sarah asked, folding her arms. "You know nurses aren't to sleep in the same room as the patients. She could've killed you and -"

"With what? There's nothing in here for her to kill me with, Sarah, calm down." Kathryn said, easing sleepily off the bed.

"I won't calm down.. I don't trust that girl at all.." Sarah said, looking more upset. "and I think you trust her a little too much."

""She won't hurt me -"

"You don't know that, Kathryn!" Sarah said loudly.

"Alright.. Just keep your voice down.."

"Look, I know you like the girl a lot and worry about her.. but that's no reason to give her this much trust. I learned what she did to those orderlies and I don't want to see something like that happen to you.."

"I understand.."

Sarah signed and walked to the door. "Well, since you're here.. You care to feed her?"

"Yes.." Kathryn said, slowly making her way over to the breakfast cart. "And Sarah, do me a favor.."

Sarah turned her eyes to Alice, then back to Kathryn, "Like what?"

"Don't inform Wilson about what happened here.. He'll never let me -"

"I won't tell.. but if you ever do something stupid like this again and I find out about it, I'll let him know about this.. You're trusting her too much.."

"Fair enough.."

Sarah then gained a slightly worried look after her eyes turned back to Alice. Noticing this, Kathryn turned her eyes to Alice. The girl was sitting up, staring over at the two nurses with a very unpleasant frown on her face. Kathryn knew that Alice was upset about Sarah discovering what had happened.

"Alice, be nice.." Kathryn said, giving her a stern look for a moment.

Alice's expression lightened some and she turned her face toward the window as she laid back on the bed.

"Well, at least she listens to you.." Sarah said as she walked out of the room.

Kathryn gave Sarah an aggravated look and moved the cart over to the bed. She took the lid off the plate. "Do you want to feed yourself today or do you want me to feed you?"

Alice only shook her head, then burst out with, "Why does she hate me? I never tried to hurt her.."

"Sarah doesn't trust any of the patients in here.. she says that they can turn on you at any given time.. That's why she became upset when she found me in here alone with you.. vulnerable to anything you could do.."

Alice moved over to the breakfast tray, took up one of the two spoons and angrily shoved some food in her mouth.

"What's wrong, Alice?"

"I liked you staying here with me during the night.."

"I told you, dear, that's not allowed.. But, at least.. she won't tell Wilson.."

"Maybe she won't.. maybe she will.." Alice whispered before another spoonful of food. "I just hope the doctor doesn't start feeding me medicine every day again.. I'm sick of that stuff! It's awful and makes me feel vomity.."

"I know, but we think this medication has served its purpose by now.. You're talking to us well enough.."

"Yes.. Until I.. go back.."

"So, you are going to return to Wonderland?"

"Yes.. Everyone, including you, insists that I do.. You really think that destroying the Red Queen is the key to healing myself?"

"Well, I hope it is.. and to saving your friends.." Kathryn whispered, coming closer to sit beside her.

"Alright then.. I'll go back.. but when I'm ready to face it all again.."

Kathryn nodded and glanced over at the mirror. To her surprise, the Cheshire cat was staring back at them, sitting on the other side of the glass. Alice's form in Wonderland was laying beside him, looking very beautiful, but pale and dead. The Cheshire seemed quite pleased to hear that Alice had it in mind to come back and finish her quest.

Alice turned her eyes to the mirror to, then she smiled and gave a small nod. Kathryn soon got the idea that Alice could see the mirror now as well.

"Good," the cat whispered, "and I'll be waiting here for you when you return, Alice.." Typically, he vanished from their sight, his glowing eyes remained for a few moments afterward, before they to disappeared.

o0o0o0o

Alice or Kathryn never mentioned anything about the two of them spending the night in Alice's room after that, in case anyone over heard them. Kathryn never pressured Alice anymore in the following days about going back to Wonderland. Alice had said she would return when she was ready.. after she'd had a good, long rest. That seemed to be good enough for Kathryn and Cheshire. Kathryn had noticed by way of the mirror that Alice's body in Wonderland was laying asleep on a padded bed in some sort of padded cell.

Dim light shown in through its window that had no glass, but metal bars across it. There were blood smears on the padding as well. Kathryn couldn't blame Alice for being a bit nervous about returning to Wonderland, the place was looking more and more disturbed with every realm Alice traveled through. The Hatter's realm seemed the worst so far, and Alice knew it would only get worse, even with the Cheshire's help. She just wasn't ready to go back.. After all, she'd abandoned Wonderland for months and years at a time.

Kathryn knew herself that she should be used to this by now, but she knew Alice would regain her nerve eventually.

During Alice's time spent away from Wonderland, she would shut herself up in her room, speaking only to her toy rabbit, or Kathryn, Wilson or the Cheshire. She ignored everyone else. She told Kathryn and Wilson about the Skool that resides in Wonderland and about the old Mine Village that she'd dropped into when she agreed to return to Wonderland after a little over eight years. She also told them about the pool of tears and about the large, grey statue of herself that sits frozen in that realm, endlessly crying. She also told Wilson that the Caterpillar said it was her destiny to destroy the Red Queen of Hearts.

Day after day, she stayed quiet, almost seeming to enjoy the asylum life, as if it was much more peaceful than her chaotic Wonderland.. though she did visit Cheshire in Wonderland from time to time for a few hours in a quiet place to talk.. Cheshire had vanished her from the Hatter's realm back into the Chess realm where she'd be safe during their meetings untill she was ready to return to the Hatter's playhouse and finish her task there.. Cheshire would sometimes visit Alice in the asylum as well. At one point, Wilson caught Cheshire in her room once, licking at her cheek in December of 1873. Wilson merely mistook him for one of the many wild cats that roam the asylum grounds.

She seemed quiet behaved and well tempered, until she attacked one of the nurses on the Sunday evening of July 19 during a bathing session. An old nurse that resembled the Duchess had Alice laid back in the basin, washing her hair, and Alice went into another outburst, and yelled "Get away from me, Duchess!", before trying to attack her. Alice calmed once the nurse backed out of the room away from the frightened girl. The other nurses took hold of Alice, dressed her and took her back to her room. Alice wouldn't tell Wilson why she attacked the old lady.

Kathryn didn't get any word of this until the next morning when she returned to the Asylum after spending the evening with her parents. She was quite surprised by this outburst. Kathryn entered Alice's room around lunch time to find her still strapped down. Kathryn came to stand beside the bed, her arms folded and wearing a serious frown. "Alice? Was that outburst really necessary last night?"

Alice was also wearing an upset look and her arms where the leather straps were had gone blood red, as if she'd been twisting her wrists to get free of the straps for some time. "I thought she was going to drown me.."

Kathryn's expression softened some as her mouth formed a small smile. "She was only trying to wash the soap from your hair."

"I don't care.. Let me go!" Alice demanded, struggling against her straps.

"I will, Alice.. Wilson asked me to.. I need to get medicine for your arms and your lunch first. Just stay here and keep quiet. Please.. I'll be back in a moment.."

Alice gave a frustrated sigh and turned her face to the window as Kathryn left the room. She stayed that way until Kathryn returned with the food cart and a large bottle of cream medication. Alice laid still while Kathryn unbuckled the straps and removed them from Alice's wrists. Then, Alice held out her arms while Kathryn placed the cold cream on her red skin to help sooth the strap burns. The medication caused a slight stinging sensation on Alice's raw flesh, but Kathryn said that would only last a while. Then, once that was taken care of, Kathryn began to feed her.

"Why did you call the nurse 'Duchess'?" Kathryn asked.

"I came back from a meeting in Wonderland with Cheshire that I took, and awoke to find her lowering my head into the water.. I thought for a moment that she was the Duchess and was going to drown me. I wasn't completely awake and focused yet. I was still dazed from sleep."

"I see.. Well, she's not her, Alice.." Kathryn said.

"I know that. I realised that once I knew where I was." Alice said with a frown. "But still, I don't want her around me."

"Well, trust me, she's not going to have anything to do with you after this.." Kathryn said with a smile.

Alice nodded, looking a little comforted by that. "And I'm going back to Wonderland.. soon. I'm tired of Dr. Wilson just thinking he can take my toy away when ever he feels like it.. That rabbit's not his!" Alice said after a couple of spoonfuls of her breakfast.

"He's doing it to punish you for trying to hurt a lady that meant you no harm, Alice. You can have your rabbit back on Friday.. if you behave.."

"At least, in Wonderland, my toys don't get taken away.." she whispered with a cute, pouting look on her face.

Kathryn fed her for the next few minutes in silence before Wilson gave a knock at the doorway. "Are you alright, Alice?"

"Yes.. No thanks to you.." Alice mumbled.

Wilson gave a smile and Kathryn did as well, she couldn't help it.

"I was expecting some sort of attitude this morning." Wilson said, "Anything happening with your Wonderland yet that you'd like to-"

"No.." Alice said, turning her eyes away from the doctor and she opened her mouth for another spoonful of food.

"Alright then. I'll check up on you again tomorrow morning.." he said, looking rather disappointed as he turned away and left.

Over the next few days, Alice remained in the asylum. Kathryn took her out into the garden several times for a change of scenery, and on the morning of July 21, she had finally returned to Wonderland. Kathryn watched her exploring some sort of maze of hallways and padded cell rooms, taking her time in her search for something, or someone. But Kathryn didn't watch for long, she still had to feed Alice. Wilson spoke to Alice off and on during her meals or treatment sessions, trying his best to get her to speak, and he did succeed during her lunch on Wednesday of July 22, while Kathryn sat close to her, feeling her spoonfuls of soup, and, surprisingly, Wilson gave Alice her toy back early for good behavior.

"How have you been feeling these past few days, Alice?" Wilson asked, readying his note pad to mark down any possible poems or strange replies from the girl's mouth.

Alice didn't speak, only parted her lips a bit.

"Anything in Wonderland?"

Alice gave a small nod.

"What have you been doing, Alice?"

Then, to his surprise, Alice smiled, "Attending the tea party, of course.."

Wilson slowly nodded, thinking, "Was it a grand party?"

"Oh, most grand, dear doctor.." Alice whispered, her smiled becoming a pleased one, "I fear nothing.. and soon the Keep will be in reach.."

"The Keep?"

"The Castle Keep of the evil Red Queen.."

"And how long until you reach the Keep?"

She merely shook her head, then whispered, "I can't say for sure, doctor.."

Then, Wilson watched as the awareness in her eyes faded back to their dead gaze.

"Alice?" the doctor whispered.

Alice didn't reply.

"Alice?" Wilson called out a bit more loudly, but he got nothing in response, so he gave it up for the day.

From that point on, Alice laid silent in the asylum until the night of July 24. She kept going into small fits of angered screaming in her sleep that lasted for minutes at a time. Kathryn found out by the mirror that during these screaming fits, Alice was locked in fierce battle with the Hatter, who was nearly eleven feet tall at the time, making it very difficult for Alice to destroy him. Half way through her battle, he managed to use an explosive to knock her out cold.

She laid there on the metal floor with her head bleeding badly, causing a pool of dark red blood to form around her head. Parts of her dress were ripped and she had a few long gashes in her right arm. The Hatter vanished immediately afterward. Kathryn sat there by the mirror, waiting for anything to happen, until, at last, the Cheshire appeared in front of her in Alice's room, startling her quite a bit.

"What are you doing, Kathryn?" he asked, his amused grin growing in size.

"I'm waiting to see if she wins.." she whispered, trying to recover from the slight scare that the Cheshire had just given her.

Cheshire gave a small chuckle that had a hint of a purr to it, "You might as well go to bed, Kathryn.. It's very late.. She might not wake for several hours.. But why are you worried? Alice can't die.." the cat said, stretching his thin, flexible body as if he too were greatly ready for a long nap until morning.

"I know.. but I still worry that what might happen to her in Wonderland will affect her mind here as well.." Kathryn said, watching Alice lay perfectly still as the clocks around the arena spun and chimed at certain times and different objects floated through the green, clouded sky overhead.

"When she awakes, the Hatter will return in hopes of finishing her off, but all his efforts will be in vain.. Alice is too strong for him.. Now go to sleep, please.." Cheshire whispered before vanishing without another word.

Kathryn stood up, now completely tired and made her way out of the room. She barely slept well that night, worrying about Alice, wondering when this battle would be completed. Question after question, worry after worry kept her up a few hours until she managed to get to sleep with the assistance of some warmed milk. When Kathryn entered Alice's room the next morning with her breakfast, Alice glanced over at her and sat up. She looked a little more alive today and her skin had a bit more color to it in the morning sunlight.

"Morning, Kathryn.. Cheshire told me you were about ready to stay up all night to watch the battle last night.." Alice whispered.

"Did you win?" Kathryn said, bringing the bowl of porridge to Alice.

"Yes.. I did.. Cheshire told me this morning when I woke that the Red Queen found out that I killed the Hatter several hours after I'd won the fight. She wasn't happy about it at all.. She decapitated two of her soldiers out of anger this morning.." Alice said with a small smile. "She'll be furious when she finally gets her hands on me.."

Kathryn wasn't at all surprised by this. "I'm sure she will.. but we all have deep hopes for you.." Kathryn said, giving her a small vial of Laudanum. "Wilson wants you to drink this because of your screaming fit last night.."

"I was screaming in my sleep again?" Alice asked in between spoonfuls of porridge.

"Yes.. Loudly.."

Alice gave an aggravated sigh. "I just wish I wouldn't do that anymore.. but I can't help it.. It's something I've always done when having a nightmare."

"Yes.. We've heard.. every once in a while.." Kathryn said, smiling again.

"And I've received a new weapon." Alice told her, "It's a large pocket-watch that allows me to stop time so that all the creatures around me freeze in Time.. for a certain amount of time. I'm the only one that can move.."

"Sounds very useful.."

"It will be.. I'm sure of it.." Alice whispered, a hint of excitement shown in her eyes, as if she couldn't wait to try the weapon out on her opponents sometime soon.

o0o0o0o

Alice stayed in the asylum the next day and returned to Wonderland that evening to travel through some realm of lava and brimstone. This took her a while as there was much ground and obstacles for Alice to travel through. Kathryn didn't keep a constant eye on her progress over these days except an occasional glance at the mirror. On the morning of July 27, Alice was rather distressed. Kathryn found her sitting up in her bed, watery eyed, and watching the rain pouring out of the morning sky.

"What's wrong, Alice?"

She only shook her head in response.

"What is it?" Kathryn asked, coming closer to the girl.

Alice parted her shivering lips, then whispered, "..They taunt me about the burning as if I were to blame.. I clear them from my conscious with the eloquence of my blade.."

Kathryn took out a small pad and pen from her uniform pocket and quickly scribbled down the poem to inform Wilson of it, Alice stayed quiet until Kathryn finished writing. Once the nurse returned the pad to her pocket, she came closer to hear Alice over the sound of the rain against the closed window. "Who blames you, Alice?"

"The wicked Jabberwock.. He said my parents were dead because of me.. It was all my fault because I wanted to have tea with my friends and not bother to wake to warn my parents of the smoke I smelt -"

"Alice.. That's not your fault. You know it." Kathryn said, sitting on the side of Alice's bed.

"I know, but I still can't help but feel as though it is my fault, no matter what anyone tells me.." Alice said, stroking the soft ears of her toy rabbit and letting tears stream freely down her pale cheeks. "I.." Alice began, but she stopped when she saw the breakfast cart at the door. "I.. I'll have the elixir, but I won't eat.. My stomach doesn't feel too well.."

"But, Alice dear, you have to eat something with this medicine or it'll upset your stomach.. then you'll feel much worse.." Kathryn told her, stroking some of Alice's hair away that was sticking to her cheek because of the tears. "Just eat a little of the porridge.. Please?"

"Very well.." Alice whispered, moving way from the cold air that she could feel while laying near the closed window. Kathryn brought the cart over to her and she ate some of the porridge, keeping her eyes mostly on the fogged window, watching the misty rain. By the time she was finished with half the porridge and had taken the vial of medicine, the sun had come out, making the rain look like little, clear diamonds falling from the sky. Alice found this very pretty and it had clearly captured her attention for well over a minute.

"It seems to rain almost every day.." Kathryn whispered, taking a seat at her usual spot on Alice's bed. "I'm completely tired of it."

Alice smiled. She didn't mind the rain, it was the lightening that got to her. She never liked it. This morning, however, it was just a gentle rain. The look of the rain started to remind Alice of the pool of tears she'd traveled through. It was always lightly raining there, too, as if the gray sky itself was endlessly crying over that gloomy land.

She wondered what the mock turtle was doing now. He'd probably found somewhere to hide out until this war was over. Maybe that's what the old miners in that mine had done as well. Alice hoped that the kind Elder Gnome was alright as well.

"Alice?" Kathryn whispered, not bothering to leave yet, even though Alice was finished with breakfast. "What do you have to do in Wonderland now?"

"Well, I now have the Jabberwock's eye that I needed to complete a very powerful weapon. It's the only weapon that can grant me entry into the Red Queen's grounds. I'm so close to her castle now.. It's like I'm practically at her front door.."

"Are you, then?"

"Yes."

"How long do you think it'll be before you reach the Red Queen herself?"

"I can't say for sure, Kathryn.. There may be obstacles or traps in her mazes that may delay me some.. I hope not.."

"Mazes?"

"Yes.. The Cheshire told me that most of her grounds are made up of labyrinths now.. and I'll have to find my way through them.. She made the environment more difficult to pass through so as to try and stop me. Isn't that just lovely?" she asked sarcastically.

Kathryn smiled. "Yes, she seems very determined.. and stubborn.."

"She's a spoiled brat, she always has been nearly her whole life.. I hope that mysterious True Queen gives her a proper punishment for her evil doings.." Alice said, laying back down, the warm sheets giving her body some comfort from the pain she was feeling in her stomach.

"I'm going back to Wonderland tomorrow night, but I want to rest up today and some of tomorrow.. My body in Wonderland needs to heal a bit from the damage that's been done to it these past few weeks.. Cuts and bruises, a twisted ankle that I got - those sort of things.. but luckily, that body the True Queen gave me in Wonderland heals rather fast."

Kathryn looked over at the mirror and saw Alice sleeping, leaned against a large bolder with her wand laying beside her right side with her right hand ready to grab it at any waking moment. There was a moonless, dark blue sky overhead that looked as if someone had drawn white stars into it with a white crayon. There was a stone wall behind Alice and a tall, fat, egg-shaped creature was sitting on one of the boulders that Alice was laying near.

Occasionally, he'd flick ashes from his large cigar he was holding, but his only eye was closed. Kathryn also notice, within the darkness, that the Cheshire was laying at Alice's left side and Alice had her left arm flung over his bony back. Both looked quite comfortable.

"Who's that creature? The one that looks like an egg.." Kathryn asked.

Alice turned her attention to the mirror and smiled, "..Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.."

Kathryn smiled, recalling the rhyme. "All the kings horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty in his place again." Kathryn whispered, finishing the poem for Alice.

"You know, I've always thought that last line was much too long for the poetry.." Alice said, pulling her toy rabbit closer to her, and snuggling her cheek against the head of her beloved toy, looking tired.

Kathryn smiled, knowing she'd stayed longer than she'd intended to. "Well, Alice, I'm going to leave you now.." Kathryn said, getting up from the bed. "I've got other patients to feed, you know.."

Alice nodded, and closed her eyes, looking as if she were ready to fall back into sleep.. Kathryn did remember Alice telling her that the medicine made her sleepy. Kathryn quietly left the room with the breakfast cart while Alice rolled over to face the window, clearly falling asleep for the rest of the morning.

* * *

END NOTE: Sorry for any missed errors.. I know I tend to make them a lot without noticing it.. :S


	5. A Happy Ending

NAME: Watching Over Her [Ch. 5 - A Happy Ending]

SERIES: American McGee's Alice

SUMMARY: This is a fic about Nurse D [among others] and her time spent in the asylum watching over Alice in her demented state.

CONTAINS: Mild language, a little violence, slight hinting of girl/girl affection.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own American McGee's Alice or its characters in any way.

NOTES: In this fic, Wonderland is a real place; not a dream in Alice's head.

..And I found out that the Queen of Hearts merged with and took over the form of the Red Queen in her attempt to take over Wonderland, which is why she's called the Red Queen from time to time, and I came up with my own idea as to how the Queen of Hearts came to be Alice. :)

RATED: T [for Teen]

* * *

All through the rest of the day, nothing happened in Wonderland, nor did Alice have anything to speak to doctor Wilson about. At around 12:00 pm the next day, Kathryn stepped quietly into the room with Alice's lunch, bringing Alice her favorite variety of sandwich, a sliced apple and a cup of orange juice - Kathryn had been taking note of Alice's favorite types of foods, as a sure way to make Alice want to eat food. Kathryn slid the food cart next to Alice, who seemed willing to speak that morning.

"How did you sleep last night, my dear?"

"Fine.." Alice said, laying her toy rabbit on the bed by the window so that she could move closer to the food tray.

"Did you have any nightmares?" Kathryn asked, removing the plastic wrapping from the sandwich and handing it to Alice. "..Seeing as how nothing's happened in Wonderland.. yet.." she said with a smile.

"No.." Alice whispered in between mouthfuls of her sandwich.

Kathryn nodded and patiently waited for Alice to finish her lunch. She was obviously quite hungry. She finished off nearly all of her sandwich and apples slices before draining nearly all her juice within a few minutes.

"That should hold you off until dinner.." Kathryn said with a smile. ".. and doctor Wilson said he wants a word with you later on this afternoon.."

Alice nodded. "I wonder what about?"

"Me, too.. I'll see you then, alright? He asked that I be there, too.."

Alice nodded again and watched Kathryn leave the room. Alice slept for a couple of hours during the afternoon, until around 6:00 pm. Alice slowly turned her head to the door as Doctor Wilson entered the room, bringing a food cart with him, Kathryn was walking by his side, wheeling in a tall stool for Wilson to take a seat on, she also had a clipboard for any notes. Alice was somewhat curious now, she knew it wasn't dinner time already.

"Hello, Alice.." Wilson said, taking a seat.

"Hello, doctor.."

"How are you today?"

"I'm fine.. Thank you.."

"Are you?" He asked, bringing the cart closer to her bed. "That's good, I wanted to give this a second try.." Wilson said, gesturing to the items on the cart's top. Alice turned her curious eyes to the cart's top and soon noticed that there was a set of teacups and a small teapot on the cart's surface. Alice only smiled.

"You're determined, aren't you?" she asked, a hint of sarcastic humor showing in her voice.

"More than you know.." Wilson said with a smile, relieved that she was in much better tempers today.

Alice watched Wilson slowly pour her a cup of tea. "Since you claimed you greatly enjoyed the tea party.. I thought I'd give this a second chance.. You seem a lot more civil.."

"Yes.." Alice said as Wilson put a cube of sugar in her tea. Alice knew she didn't care too much for sweets, but what would one sugar cube hurt? At least, the tea would taste better.

"Kathryn told me about your poem about the creatures in Wonderland blaming you for your house being burned, and for the loss of your family.."

"Yes, but he was just trying to break me down before the fight. What happened to my family wasn't my fault. I know that." Alice said as Wilson slid her tea cup over to Alice.

"Care for some tea, Kathryn?" Wilson asked Kathryn, who was taking a seat in a small, armchair beside the foot of the bed.

"Hmm.. Nothing for me, thanks.. I'm good.." She said, looking comfortable and ready to take notes.

Alice slowly began to sip her warm tea, the taste was rather delicious and a bit sweet, but not at all something she was used to. She took a few more sips before the teapot caught her attention. The pot was decorated with pink flowers, their design brought back the memory of the flowers she'd battled in the Wonderland Forest when she was only three inches tall. Wilson noticed her staring intently at them and glanced at the pot himself.

"Is there something wrong with the teapot, Alice?"

She glanced over at him. "No.. It's just the flowers.. They remind me of the ones I fought in the forest in Wonderland."

"A forest?"

"Yes, it's a place called the Wonderland Woods. I was only three inches when I traveled through it.. I had to battle flowers that would devour anyone that got to close to them and they spew poisonous thorns at me.. the mushrooms spew poisonous fumes and have a way of pulling pray to it in an attempt to eat it. "

"Are those the only creatures there?"

"No.. There's giant ant soldiers that carry large muskets. Poisonous snarks. Strange rock creatures, perfectly harmless though. And the flying insects that would drop explosive objects on its victims.."

"Really, and what does this forest look like, Alice?"

"The trees are enormous, some of the mushrooms are as tall as trees.. so are the blades of grass and some certain flowers.. There's caverns that I had to travel through and pools of bright green acid fumes. There's thermal drafts that I could float upon to get over these pools. There's even some parts of the ground with actual lavender colored crystals growing out of the very earth in the caves I explored."

"And why were you traveling through this forest being only three inches tall?"

"I was.. following the White Rabbit.. He was taking me to the Caterpillar so that I could be told why I was there and what I must do to help myself and everyone around me. Half way through our journey, the Rabbit died, so I was forced to find Caterpillar on my own.. Once I found him, he sent me to a place called Fungiferious Forest."

Alice paused, trying to recall the rest of her memory, "..He said that there, I must regain my human size by eating from the Mushroom of Life, but I'd have to battle the vicious Centipede, as he jealously guards this special mushroom. There were many mushrooms in this forest and insects that came right out of the ground to grab and devour their prey.. like me. I had to be quick to kill them or they'd dig back into the earth and escape me."

"Really?" Wilson asked, glancing at Kathryn as she scribbled down a couple of quick notes for Wilson, she'd been doing this nearly the entire time the conversation was carried on.

"Yes.. I finally met up with ant soldiers who took me to the Centipede's underground lair so he could destroy me, on the Centipede's orders. But I got the better of him and killed him, then I took and ate some of this mushroom.. it made me my proper size again, and from there I traveled to the White Chess Realm.. You remember that, doctor?"

"Yes, I do.. And where are you in Wonderland now?"

"I'm just outside the entrance to the Red Queen's grounds. She's made labyrinths and tunnels out of her grounds, which will make them much more difficult to pass through. She's trying to stop me.."

"How do you know this?"

"The cat told me so.."

"The cat is still with you on your adventures?"

"Of course he is." Alice said, taking another sip of her tea. "He'll stay with me the entire time, if he can help it.."

Wilson nodded. "How many weapons do you have?"

"Well, so far, I have the Vorpal Blade knife, the Cards, the Croquet Mallet, the Demon Dice, the Jackbomb, the Ice Wand, the Jacks, the Dead Time Watch, and the Jabberwock's Eye Staff.. The cat says there's one more to find. He says it's practically the most powerful weapon I'll obtain.. the Blunderbus gun.."

Alice caught a glimpse of Kathryn raising one eyebrow in concern, looking as though she didn't like the idea of little Alice with a powerful gun in tow.

"Cheshire cat says it's a weapon I must find because I will greatly need it in the next battles to come.." Alice said to Wilson, hoping to bring some comfort to Kathryn. "Don't worry, though.. Nothing can hurt me there.. I'll be fine."

Wilson nodded. "I'm sure you will.. You've survived this long.." He said with a pleased smile, watching Alice drain off the last bit of her tea. "Would you like more?" he asked.

"No, thank you, doctor." Alice said, laying back in her bed and bringing her toy bunny close to her again, feeling tired now that her stomach was full of warm drink.

"Would you like to sleep awhile now before dinner?" Wilson asked.

"Yes, doctor.." Alice said, turning her eyes to the beautiful sunset sky outside the window. She stared at it, admiring its shades of purple, gold and bright pink mixed with the darkening blue sky.

She listened as Wilson got up from his stool and him and Kathryn slowly began to leave the room.

"Alice?" Kathryn whispered.

"Yes?"

"Your Aunt Malina will be stopping by sometime next week to check up on you and see how you're doing, as we've informed her that you seem to be getting better, alright?"

"Alright." Alice replied.

She listened as they both left the room, and she heard Wilson's voice say, "She handled that a lot more civil than I thought she would.. Maybe there's some hope for her recovery after all.." Then, Alice heard the door shut and its outside lock click, locking her in the room. She let her eyes travel to the only other door in her room that lead to a bathroom. It contained all a patient could need except a shower or bath basin. Patients weren't allowed to shower or bathe alone.

They were kept under careful supervision of an orderly or nurse - perhaps several nurses - so the patients wouldn't try to drown themselves during their bathing sessions. Alice turned her attention back to the window. There were some doctors and an old, male patient out on the grounds in the garden outside. They were taking him for a short walk outside to give him some fresh air, apart from the gloomy room of his. Alice felt hunger beginning to surface in her stomach, but dinner was only a couple of hours away.

She could wait until then. Just as she was closing her eyes to relax, a large figure jumped upon the window sill from outside and came right through the glass without shattering it.. Alice's eyes snapped open wide from surprise, then she calmed when she noticed the wide grin spread across its face. She knew well that she was the only one who could see him, so she wasn't worried about the doctors in the garden noticing.

"Hello, Cheshire.."

"Hello, love.." He purred, looking extremely happy as he stepped upon her bed and came to sit next to her shoulder.

"And.. what are you all smiles about?" Alice asked, giving the cat a small smile of her own.

"I thought you would like to know.. I've located the Blunderbus.. It's not at all far from where you are sleeping.. And I discovered how to get into the hidden tunnel where it's concealed.. I'll take you to it when you return.. Sound good to you?" the cat asked with a flick of his thin tail.

"Sure.. Thank you, cat.." She said, closing her eyes once again.

"You're welcome.. I'll be waiting for you.." Cheshire whispered, then he came nose to cheek with Alice and brushed his warm, rough tongue across her cheek in a cat kiss before vanishing from sight.

She smiled and brushed the wet sensation away from her face, trying to return to sleep.

o0o0o0o

Alice stayed quiet the next day, having returned to Wonderland at around 4:00 am that morning. She'd located the Blunderbus there - with the help of Cheshire, and she blasted through the gates into Queensland using the Eye Staff shortly after. Throughout the day, Kathryn kept an eye on the mirror. Alice was indeed in a realm full of stone, paths, and hedges.

A dark sky loomed overhead with lighted symbols shining from the stone walls of the mazes - obviously to give some amount of light in that darkened environment. She recognized these lights to be in the shapes of clubs, spades, diamonds, and hearts - the suits of a deck of cards. Occasionally, she'd watch Alice slice her way through a card guard with her blade or use her ice wand or jacks to bring down a flying boojum.

Or she'd come to face some large creatures with mouths full of fangs, long claws, and had smoke coming from tube like openings on their backs. She used the Eye Staff to destroy these creatures. On the day of July 31, Kathryn found Alice traveling through a large room, full of steam jet, on which Alice floated across the environment on by way of the air drafts filling up her skirt so that it flared out, allowing the air to carry her from place to place.

On the afternoon of August 2, Kathryn found Alice sleeping beside a large, circular basin filled with clear water. A large, six foot tall statue of the Cheshire cat was sitting over top the basin, with the actual Cheshire curled up at Alice's side. Alice held her cards in her right hand and she had a heart-shaped hand mirror clutched in her left hand. A soft, white light was constantly shinning from the mirror's surface. Unbeknownst to Kathryn, keeping hold of this mirror would allow Alice to be invisible to any enemies that came across her in the maze.

Kathryn knelt down and whispered "Cheshire cat?", hoping to get Cheshire's attention. His ear twitched, but he didn't wake. Kathryn gave a frustrated sigh, "Cheshire ? !"

The cat's body gave a sudden jerk and his head raised up, looking sleepily around. Then his yellow eyes came to rest on Kathryn and he smiled, stood up, stretched and came over to her to sit in front of her on the other side of the mirror's surface.

"Yes?" Cheshire purred.

"I need you to wake Alice and inform her that her Aunt will be visiting her here in the asylum at 9:00 tomorrow morning.. Please?"

Cheshire nodded. "I sure will.. She'll be there.."

"Thank you, Cheshire.."

"You're welcome.." then, he made his way back over to Alice and curled up beside her again as Kathryn left the room.

o0o0o0o

The next morning, Alice was awake and present in the asylum room, which meant Cheshire cat had been true to his word. Kathryn had brushed Alice's hair to make her look a bit better while Alice ate her porridge breakfast. Alice barely had time to finish off the full bowl of food when Wilson came into the room with a short, thin lady at his side. She was about 5 ft and 3 inches tall. She had dark red hair pulled back in a tight bun and blue eyes. Her face was narrow, but kind looking, and she looked to be around the age of 40 years old.

She was dressed in a floor length, light blue dress that suited her pale face very well. Alice watched Wilson leave the doorway as the woman stepped into the room.

"Aunt Malina?" Alice whispered, recognizing the lady too well. All the memories of Malina found their way back into Alice's mind - memories of Aunt Malina attending family celebrations and of her taking Alice and her sisters on picnics and shopping on the town for dresses, toys and candy. Or reading them bedtime stories. Then, Alice remembered how upset Malina was when she was forced to take little Alice to the hospital because of her trauma, but back then, Alice was too in shock over her family to care about staying with her aunt.

"Hello Alice, darling.. How've you been?" Malina asked in a soft voice, coming further into the room to stand close to Alice. This pulled Alice out of her memories and she watched Kathryn place the small chair bedside the bed for Malina.

"I've been alright.." Alice said, taking another spoonful of food into her mouth.

"Really?" Malina asked as she took a seat, placing the tan, large purse she'd had hanging from her shoulder onto her lap. "The doctor says you live in a fairytale dreamland and that you scream a lot in your sleep. And that you are a very intelligent person with your poetry and drawings of your Wonderland that you talk about so much."

"Yes.." Alice said, wanting very badly to try and convince her aunt that Wonderland was not some fairytale dreamland she'd made up, but she knew Malina wouldn't have believed her.

"And that you're still having trouble coping with the accident.." Malina went on.

"Yes.. Kathryn told me that you, Aunt Ellie, and Uncle Jeremiah miss me and would be happy to have me come live with either of you.. once I'm healed and I'm able to leave.. and be around normal people.."

"Yes, we would.. Oh, my goodness.." Malina said with a smile, taking Alice's toy rabbit in her hands. "You still have this silly old toy, Alice?"

"Yes, she does.." Kathryn said, handing Alice her glass of apple juice. "She protects it very well.. and isn't willing to part with it."

"Well, I understand why.." Malina said, looking pityingly at the toy before placing it back on the bed beside Alice.

Alice finished off the last few spoonfuls of her meal and started on her drink before speaking again, "So.. how've you been?"

"I've been doing well.. I have a daughter now who's 13 years old. Your Aunt Ellie is fine. She has three children: two sons and a daughter, and your uncle and his wife have two children. Two girls.."

"So, I've got six cousins?"

"Yes, and they've heard a lot about you and hope you get well soon. Speaking of which.." Malina said, unzipping and reaching into her purse. She pulled out four pieces of paper that were folded in the shape of a book - Alice realized that these were "get well soon" cards made for her from her cousins. One from each family and an extra one from her two Aunts and Uncle. Alice couldn't help but smile as she looked through the cards, each having different styles of handwriting and signed names on them, wishing Alice well. Some even had flowers and hearts drawn on them.

Just looking at the cards made her feel more needed - and more warmer - than she had in years. They made her feel that she still had people in her life that cared for her other than Kathryn, Wilson and her Wonderland friends, not that she didn't appreciate they're friendship at all, but it was nice to know she'd have somewhere to go once this was all over.

"Thank you, Aunt Malina.. This means a lot.."

"You're welcome, dear.. Now, you know that if you ever wish to speak with us, just tell doctor Wilson, or Kathryn and they'll inform us.. and we'll come here and spend some time with you, alright?"

"Alright.. Thanks.." Alice whispered, stacking her 'get well' cards into a neat pile and placing them on her side table.

Kathryn took her empty porridge bowl and placed it on the breakfast cart and waited for Alice to finish off her drink.

Malina stood up. "Well, I'm going to have another talk with Mr. Wilson.. Alice, I have to leave now, I'm expected to be somewhere soon. Alright?"

Alice nodded.

"I'll be sure to come visit you more often while you're here, alright?"

"Sure.."

"But I won't bring my daughter, Anna.. She's only 13 years old, and a place like this would greatly frighten her.."

"I understand.." Alice whispered.

"Very well, until I see you again, you try to behave, Alice.." Malina said as she leaned over and gave Alice a kiss on the forehead before slowly making her way out of the room, waving her 'good-bye for now' to Alice and Kathryn.

Before either Alice or Kathryn could speak, a purring voice whispered within the room. "She seems a very nice lady, Alice.."

Both Alice and Kathryn knew it was Cheshire's voice at once and turned their eyes to the mirror that Cheshire was sitting on the other side of.

"Yes, she is, Cheshire.." Kathryn whispered.

"Well, then now that we've come to the conclusion that you'll definitely have somewhere to go, are you coming back to Wonderland anytime soon?" the cat asked.

"I'll return tonight.. I promise.. I'm too close to the Red Queen's castle and I don't want to waste time now that I'm this close to her Keep.." Alice said before finishing off the last of her drink and setting it on the breakfast cart.

"As usual.. I'll be here.." the cat whispered, vanishing from sight as if he had somewhere to go now.

o0o0o0o

That night, Alice returned to Wonderland and awoke with Cheshire at her side. Taking a while to completely wake, she took the time to clean the blood off her healed cuts and gashes in the water of the stone basin that the stone Cheshire was smiling over. She collected and tested out her weapons once more and took her favorite at her side. Soon, she and Cheshire cat were once again making their way through the darkening maze toward the palace of the Red Queen of Hearts - Alice seeming more determined then ever to put an end to the wicked Red Queen now.

o0o0o0o

Over the rest of that month, Kathryn kept a close watch on the mirror.. The nurse was very pleased with Alice's wonderland progress.. The Queen was so close now, and to make it better, Alice was determined to destroy the Red Queen for watch she'd done to Wonderland and her friends. On the late morning of August 5, Kathryn was watching Alice explore a very wide stone room, traveling from platform to platform, raising the room's water level as high as possible in order to open a lid of the right tunnel that concealed another portal inside it.

The next night, August 6, Alice emerged into a realm of lava, tunnels, hedges and machines.. and traps. Kathryn was amazed at all the obstacles Alice had to jump, run or swim through. The Red Queen certainly was trying to delay Alice in every possible way. She'd created trap after trap throughout her entire labyrinth, but Alice fought through them fairly easily. On the afternoon of August 7, Kathryn found Alice traveling through a room that practically had no floor below it, just darkness.

Kathryn watched, trying to fight her own fear of heights. It wasn't easy, with the room being so high up. She kept her eyes focused on Alice as she jumped onto different parts of moving machinery. Some machines moved up and down, some spun in a fast circle, and some machines slammed against another, looking powerful enough to crush Alice completely.

On the day of August 9, Kathryn watched Alice travel through a realm of lava and high, stone paths. A red, orange, and yellow sky moved fast above that realm. Alice came around in the asylum that night and told Kathryn that the Gryphon, her ally and friend, had been killed by the Jabberwock. Alice then used the Jabberwock's own eye to destroy the wicked creature to avenge the Gryphon's death.

Alice admitted to the Gryphon, before he died, that she really didn't want to go on, but the Gryphon encouraged her to for the sake of all others who'd been tortured or killed by the Queen and her minions. He said that it was Alice's destiny to put a stop to the Red Queen by leading their army against her.. and with further encouragement from Cheshire, Alice continued on her journey against her own will, having a strong uncertainty about how to lead the troops for Gryphon.

Kathryn caught glimpses of Alice's journey through the Queen's domain over the next few days. Alice had to travel over stones, pillars and elevated paths with fiery orange lava below her. She slashed through enemy after enemy, trying not to fall into the lava while battling them. The Boojum phantoms were the worse.. the force of their scream was strong enough to blow her off edges, so she had to be extra careful when facing them.

On the night of August 11, Kathryn came into Alice's room to feed her the dinner that had been prepared for her and, in the light of her small oil lamp that was sitting on the dinner cart, she saw that Alice's bed was empty. Kathryn looked around the room and found Alice sitting on the floor beside the mirror in the dark corner, her rabbit clutch to her chest by her trembling arms and her face was wet with tears. The tear's streams reflected in the fire's glow from the lamp. Kathryn moved the cart to the bed and came to kneel down in front of Alice.

Her features looked very distress. Kathryn took a glance into the mirror and found Alice laying on a red carpeted floor in a very dark atmosphere. A large, stone door stood about twelve feet in front of her. Alice had a sad expression on her face, but wasn't asleep.. if anything, she seemed to have the same emotionless expression on her face that she used to wear in the asylum all the time and her face was streaked with tears. Kathryn began to worry and took Alice by the shoulders to get Alice's attention.

"Alice, dear? Are you alright, what's wrong?" Kathryn whispered. "What's wrong with you in Wonderland."

Alice blinked, trying to clear the stinging tears from her eyes, then she whispered, "He's dead.."

"Who's dead, Alice?"

Alice sniffled, her eyes held a lost look in them, "Cheshire cat.. he's dead.."

Kathryn's heart sank some. "I guess he wasn't as invincible as I thought.." She turned to look into the mirror and finally made out the form of Cheshire's body laying on one side of the red carpet - his chest was bleeding badly. His grin had faded in size, his ears were drooping and she could barely make out the golden glow of his eyes between his slightly closed eyelids.

"The Queen killed him.. I have to make the journey alone.." Alice said, trying not to look afraid. "I have to battle her alone.. I'm sure I won't fail.. Cheshire told me that I can't allow this Red Queen to survive - she will only grow stronger and Wonderland will become darker.."

"But with all your friends dead, it seems like your victory over her will be completely worthless. I'm sorry to say.." Kathryn said, looking a bit dejected herself.

"But Caterpillar said that if I win victory over the Red Queen and save Wonderland, all will be restored. Hopefully, that means that my friends will be restored, too. I can't give up.. I won't.. I've come too far to quit now." Alice said, wiping some tears from her cheeks.

"Then, don't worry, I'm sure everything will be alright.. You're a lot stronger than I imagined you were. I'm sure you'll be able to defeat her.." Kathryn stood up and retrieved Alice's dinner plate from the cart. Alice sat her rabbit on the floor beside her and placed her plate in her lap. She took the fork and began to quickly devour her food, looking actually hungry for a change, so it didn't take her long to clean the plate. Then, Kathryn gave her the glass of juice, Alice drained that more slowly and hadn't finished it entirely before giving it back to Kathryn.

"I think I'll get some sleep before going back tomorrow.." Alice whispered. "I'm tired now.."

Kathryn nodded and helped Alice up off the cold floor. Alice walked back to her bed and slid beneath the covers, tucking her rabbit in close to her, it only took a few moments for Alice to relax and fall into a light sleep. Kathryn quietly left the room, hoping that Alice would feel better in the morning.

o0o0o0o

The next day, Doctor Wilson came into Alice's room to find Alice sitting in her bed, looking furiously angry and distant. Alice barely ate breakfast and Wilson was hoping to get her to talk. He became quite disturbed when she turned to him and whispered, "Off with her head."

Wilson couldn't get Alice to explain to him what this meant or speak anything else after that, but he was certain this had something to do with the Red Queen of Hearts, the anger in her expressions told him so.

Later that day, Kathryn entered Alice's room with her lunch and found movement in the mirror. Alice and the Red Queen were locked in fierce battle in the throne room. The Queen herself looked a mess. Her dress was ripped, her face was dead white, her eyes had gone red as well. Her once lovely hair was knotted, making her look wild, and she'd gain some gruesome injuries, but still, she fought on. She was using all sorts of sharp projectiles and telekinesis tricks to slam Alice against pillars or the walls.

Clearly, the Queen was angry, this battle wasn't going as well for her as she'd hoped, even though Alice's mouth and arms were bleeding from injuries the Queen had given her. Alice was indeed strong and quick. While the Queen moved, Kathryn watched the Queen rise up off the floor and Kathryn saw that the Queen had some sort of vainy, red tentacle attached to her back from the throne's back.

The tentacle moved the Queen in whatever direction she wished to go in that area, almost like she was flying. It appeared to Kathryn, however, that the tentacle was only so long, so the Queen could only move a sort distance from her throne. The nurse also noticed that the floor where the steps should have been was missing. The large opening in the floor was all the way across the room, separating Alice and the Queen, making it impossible for Alice to get near the Queen's throne or the Queen herself.

Alice was using the Jabberwock's Eye Staff and just as Alice was charging it again for another attack on the Queen, the Queen lifted Alice into the air by strange lights and flung her hard against a pillar. Alice's head made a sickening cracking sound as it hit the pillar. The queen smiled, delighting in watching Alice fall to the ground and lay there on her back barely moving, her eyes threatening to close for good. Alice herself laid still, letting the horrible pain fade some.

She closed her eyes all the way, making herself ready to just give in and let the Queen do away with her, knowing she had nothing left to gain from this. If she died, she could be with her family again, she'd no longer suffer - Then, she felt a heavy weight upon her chest area, almost forcing her breath out of her. She forced her eyes open to see Cheshire's face staring back down at her. Her breath caught in her throat, then she began to wonder if this was a trick of the Red Queen. "Cheshire? Are you.. really..?"

The cat's ears twitched upward, making him look alarmed. "Alice, get up. Fight. You can do this."

"No.. You're only a hallucination.." Alice whispered. "You're not real.."

The cat's grin widened as if he were quite amused by that answer. Then, he reached out his right paw and slashed her left cheek with four of his claw tips, so quickly that she didn't have time to react to stop him. Warm blood immediately flowed down from the new wound. Then, while she was recovering from her shock, he brought his face very close to hers until they were almost nose to nose. "A hallucination can't hurt you, girl.. Now, get up and fight!"

Alice didn't need to be told twice, now knowing for sure that Cheshire was really there. He vanished, allowing her to breathe easily again, she quickly got up to her feet and faced the Queen, leaving behind the pool of red blood on the floor where her head had been a moment ago. The Red Queen was floating in front of her throne, her arms folded and wearing an unimpressed smile. She was waiting for Alice to recover the blow to the head. Alice walked toward the Queen, Kathryn could see that the back of Alice's head was covered in blood.

"Just give in, Alice.." the Red Queen whispered, "I promise I'll make your death quick and painless.. You can be with your siblings.. your mother and father again.. Just give me your true body to kill and I.."

"That's the last thing I'll do - I will kill you for what you did to me and this world!" Alice said, her voice dripping with hatred. Then, a small, circular watch appeared in her hand and she pressed something on its top. The Red Queen froze, unable to move from her spot, she hadn't moved quick enough to stop Alice's attack. Alice produced her Eye Staff and knelt down, holding it before her. The glowing, orange eye began to glow bright blue.

Soon, lights trailing purple smoke flew up from the ground and then flew down upon the Queen like meteors, injuring her every time they hit her, yet she could do nothing about it. Then, as Alice stood up, watching this, she felt the Eye Staff vanish from her grasp only to be replaced by her Vorpal blade. Alice brought the knife up to her view, considering it for a moment, and finding it strange that it came to her without her ever even summoning it.

Then, she was suddenly aware of what the Vorpal blade itself wanted her to do. Alice gave the Queen a wicked smile, then took the tip of the blade in her fingers and flung it at the Red Queen as hard as she could. The blade spun through the air and sank its blade straight into the Queen's chest. Alice watched the blade sink into the Queen's heart all the way to the handle. Even though the Queen was frozen, Alice saw a hint of terror in the Queen's eyes.

Alice waited then until the Dead Time Watch allowed time to move forward again. In an instant, the queen began to move again, no longer imprisoned by the Dead Time Watch's power, she fell forward in the air, clearly dying and the tentacle slammed hard onto the ground in front of the throne, the dead Queen laying lifeless before her own throne.

The red in her opened eyes vanished, returning her eyes to the icy blue that they were the last time Kathryn had met her. Alice watched her blade vanish from the Queen's chest, exposing the opened gash, and she felt it return to her hand. The Queen was dead, but something didn't feel right. The expected victory hadn't come, Alice was sure of it. Alice became concerned and turned to walk away when a glowing light emerged from the fallen Queen's body.

It separated into two lights and both drew out the shape of a heart in the air before they both flowed into Alice's chest. Suddenly, she found herself in a shield of transparent light, with two glowing lights flowing quickly around her body. Something about this light felt strangely empowering. Then, as she was wondering about this, she was slowly lifted into the air against her will and soon found herself floating across the opening in the floor, then this light force lowered her to the other side of the floor in front of the Red Queen's dead body.

Alice paused when she noticed that the tentacle began to move, pulling the Red Queen's body into the back opening of throne itself, Alice gathered her courage and came forward, but a blast from behind the throne sent her flying backward, trying to shield herself from the pieces of loose throne that scattered due to the blast's impact. Alice landed too close to the edge of the abyss in the floor. Catching her breath, she stood back up and paused to find the face of a strange, dark red skinned, monstrous creature staring back at her with its large, yellowed eyes.

The creature was emerged from the remains of the throne and it was fairly taller than her. The creature open its mouth full of teeth, revealing the Hatter's face, then his mouth opened, revealing Alice's face. Then, she spoke, her voice sounding a lot like that of the Red Queen. "I rule Wonderland alone. Your interference will not be tolerated. This realm is for grown ups; raw, well ordered, ruthless, careening on the jagged edge of reality.. Self-pitying dreamers are not wanted here." the Creature continued, "They can not survive here.."

Alice, overwhelmed with depression and grief, dropped down to her knees and began to cry.

"You fear the truth. You live in shadows. Your pathetic attempts to reclaim your sanity have failed! Retreat to the sterile safety of your self delusions, or risk inevitable annihilation. If you destroy me, you destroy yourself! Leave now and some hollow part of you may survive."

Alice removed her hands from her face, willing herself to stop crying, then shook her head 'no', silently telling the Creature that she wouldn't leave.

"Stay, and I will break you down; you will lose yourself forever!" the Creature's voice thundered out before sinking itself into the throne, leaving a dark opened hole in between the back of the throne and the floor, as though it were a dark doorway to another realm.

Alice dried her tears. She knew well that this wasn't over.

"Perhaps a rest before - ?" Cheshire's voice began to ask her, but she shook her head and stood up.

"No.. This ends now.."

"Alice, haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry, but if a ferret were about to dart up my dress, I'd run."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"At least rest for a while and give your wounds time to heal.. You look terrible and I'm sure you feel just as terrible. She's already broken you down well enough.."

"I said no!"

"Very well, then.. Fight her now if you wish.. broken down, weak, and tired.."

"It doesn't matter if I'm weak or tired, it depends on how strong my weapons are -"

"Your weapons are only as strong as you.."

"What is this light around me?"

"That is something that the True Queen placed into you.. It's a powerful, protective gift to aid you in your final Victory.."

"If this creature that just spoke to me is the Red Queen, then who was the creature I just fought?"

"That was nothing but a puppet that the Red Queen used to weaken you.."

"And.. now I have to battle the true Red Queen.. If she hates me so, then why does she wear my face now?"

"Because, Alice.. I've discovered that she's really you, in a great way.."

"What do you mean, cat?"

"Do you remember when you came here after the fire.. You were 12 years of age? You spoke to the Caterpillar about your grieving and he revealed to you that the Queen of Hearts killed your parents with that fire?"

"Yes.." Alice said, her eyes never leaving the cat's own.

Cheshire continued, "Then, upon hearing this, you became angered with rage at the Queen of Hearts and at yourself.. During your moment of despair, hatred, and misery, you accidentally cut your finger on a small, lavender Wonderland crystal that you were toying with while you were talking with Caterpillar."

"Yes.."

"Well, that bit of magic crystal that you left behind had your flesh and blood on it. Several days later after your meeting and you left, that crystal absorbed your flesh and used it to form itself into an identical copy of you. The other half of you is filled with all your negative emotions, all that you were feeling when you gave the crystal your flesh to work with. She grew so strong within two years and she eventually made her way to the Queen of Hearts. She killed the Queen for you and took over her dead body, making it her own. She grew to love Wonderland and wanted to keep it for her own."

Alice nodded, listening intently. "Do the minions of the Red Queen know that my twin did this?"

"Of course not.. And as I was saying before she killed me, you and this Red Queen are two parts of the same soul.. But she was created by hate and despair and can't help but bring hate and despair. She has to be destroyed, or Wonderland will only suffer under her rule."

Alice nodded again, looking dejected now.

"This Queen - she got revenge on the true Queen of Hearts for you - true, now you must stop her from destroying our world.. You created her, so only you have the power to kill her."

"But.. Why is she destroying Wonderland like this? You said she loved Wonderland.."

"She does.. Alice, you and her are connected: If your true body dies, then she will die as well. She knows this and fears it. I've learned that she uses her tentacles to spy on others loyal to the Red Queen.. those who may be attempting to go to your world to kill your true form to stop the prophecy, which stated that you would kill the Queen of Hearts in the future.. and because her tentacles are attached to a creature with a miserable, suffering soul; where ever her tentacles travel to in Wonderland, misery and suffering will follow.."

Alice only shook her head, looking confused, "If that's the case, why did she try to persuade Kathryn to bring my real body to her to kill?"

"To make very certain she could trust Kathryn with your life. To make sure that Kathryn wouldn't betray you by handing you over to an evil minion of Wonderland to be killed.." Cheshire said with another grin. "The Queen really wouldn't have killed Kathryn.. No worries of that.."

"And yet, she's trying to kill me now -"

"Trying to stop you and make you leave.. Besides, she can't truly kill you in your Wonderland form - she's already lost this war.."

"So.." Alice said, slowly taking all this in, "I did break this world.. She's me - I'm fighting against myself.."

"Yes.. and no.. You are your own person, Alice.. you don't control what your other-half does.. you just created her from your own body.."

"..and that fight I just had was pointless!" Alice said, almost ready to cry again. "She told me that if she dies, then I will die.."

"You destroyed the Red Queen's shield.. Now she's got nothing to hide behind.. and you won't die if she does, Alice, that was just a lie to try to stop you from finishing this final battle and fulfilling your destiny."

"So, if I win, I'll live?.."

"Indeed.. " Cheshire paused for a moment, "Your fight is not all in vain, as you feel it is.. I know you think that you've got no family left, but you do," Cheshire told her, now wearing a very serious look, "Your two aunts and uncle. Your nurse Kathryn is like family. Your friends here in Wonderland are part of your family. Your siblings and parents weren't the only people who loved you, you know."

"I wonder what my parents would tell me if they could speak to me right now?" Alice asked, sadly.

"I'm sure you already know the answer to that."

"Yes, I think I do to."

"And I'm sure the White Rabbit would tell you you're wasting time.." Cheshire added with another of his famous wide grins.

"Yes, you're right. I've rested enough.." Alice began to walk toward the opening in the throne.

"I would exchange your blade for the blunderbuss, if I were you.." Cheshire advised as he vanished.

Kathryn turned her eyes away from the mirror, knowing she'd wasted enough time by now. She was sure Alice's soup had grown cold. Alice should've been fed by now. Kathryn brought the tray over to the bed where Alice laid still and Alice slowly opened her mouth. Kathryn began spooning creamy soup into Alice's mouth. The distant sounds of roaring and gun fire came from the mirror, but Kathryn wouldn't watch the rest of the battle. She was sure Alice would be fine.

Just as Alice was nearly completed with her soup meal, a loud roar filled the mirror. Kathryn glanced to the mirror and saw the large creature shuddering in the dark atmosphere, then it exploded, sending chunks of itself everywhere. The Alice of Wonderland smiled, more triumphantly than she ever had before. It was truly over. Before she had time to call upon Cheshire, a white and lavender light emerged at her feet and she savored the feeling of this power as it rose up around her, then it left her, flowing out in all directions, like ripples in the water.

She could feel the darkness leaving, the environment changing. The cold darkness around her grew warm and she found grass beneath her feet now. The tunnel that had lead to the Queen's throne room was gone. Bright blue stars began to emerge in the dark sky above. As Alice turned around her to observe the change, her eyes found a portal that seemed to be waiting for her.

Curious, she readied the blunderbuss and stepped through it. She was relieved to find that it lead her to the throne room of the lovely White Chess Queen, who was waiting for her.

"Well done, Alice.." the White Queen whispered, coming toward her with a smile. "We couldn't be more proud."

"Indeed.." Cheshire purred as he appeared beside the White Queen, beaming.

"But it's strange.. I don't really feel any different.."

"You will.. This defeat of your dark side will help you.." the White Queen said. "You'll see.."

"You saw my battle?" Alice asked the Queen.

"Of course. So did Kathryn.."

"Really? How do you know that?"

"Because I watch you in mirrors. In one mirror, I was watching the battle and in the mirror beside it, I was watching you in the asylum to make sure you were protected there. Kathryn was watching your battle before she decided to feed you. She's watching us right now, actually." the Queen told her.

Kathryn only smiled, amazed still that mirrors could be used at doorways to a completely different world. Kathryn gave Alice the last bit of soup, then gave her the glass of juice, which Alice sipped slowly. Kathryn continued to listen to the conversations from the others within the mirror.

"Can I have a tour of Wonderland, now that it's healed?" Alice asked.

"Of course you can." the White Queen told her. "It would be my pleasure, but I would advise waiting until tomorrow morning, to make sure all of Wonderland is safe and healed first. Wonderland is a fairly large place, after all. The change may take several hours to travel throughout the land."

"I understand." Alice whispered. "May I sleep here tonight, your Majesty?"

"Sure. I have a room made up for you with a table and a comfortable bed."

"And what about my weapons?" Alice asked, trying to summon them. She was surprised when she realized that her blunderbuss was gone. The other weapons wouldn't come to her, either.

Cheshire took his turn to speak, "Wonderland has taken them into hiding again, love. They will return only when you have need of them. You and I both know they aren't necessary here.. No one is a threat to you."

"Alright.. Fair enough.."

"So.." Cheshire began, "..anyone for a tea party?"

"Pardon?" the White Queen asked, looking confused.

"A tea party.." Cheshire said. ".. to celebrate, perhaps?"

Everyone turned away from him with annoyed looks and when about their own way, leaving the offended cat behind.

o0o0o0o

The next morning, true to the White Queen's word, Alice got her tour of Wonderland by ways of four different mirrors. They allowed her to travel from place to place quickly. The Red Queen's and Hatter's evil dominion looked a lot more cheery, the atmosphere looked fresh with blue sky and green grass, fresh water and the air smelt sweet, not of the faint stench of death. Alice found the Gryphon on the way, as well as a sweet reunion with the White Rabbit. The Hatter, Hare and Dormy were reunited, renewing their friendship, now that the poisoning evil in the Hatter was gone. The insane children even were normal looking now. The miner gnomes welcomed Alice with cheers, smiles and celebration in the mines.

That afternoon, Alice returned back to the asylum, leaving her Wonderland body to sleep in a secret place in the White Queen's domain where it would be safe and preserved for her future returns to Wonderland. Alice had informed Wilson that she'd destroyed the Red Queen and Wonderland was now healed. The nurses all had heard this news by the next morning about Alice's imaginary world being saved, Wilson admitted to Kathryn that he hoped this would ensure Alice's survival and help her heal herself.

As the days passed by, she barely spent anytime in Wonderland. She made it a mission to heal herself in the asylum, however Cheshire did visit with her in her room every day. The nurses reported that Alice seemed to be bathing herself and eating on her own well enough. She spoke much less about Wonderland now, as it was healed. There was no reason to worry for it, now she could focus on her own world. Wilson spoke with her every day and he even stayed during her dinner sessions several times to see if she handled feeding herself well enough. The word "fire" didn't bother her anymore. She knew that her family's death wasn't her fault.

Kathryn even took Alice for walks in the airing court yard, Alice having admitted to her that now, with Wonderland saved, she felt very bored, with nothing to do. Although, she did befriend a black cat who'd grown very fond of Alice. Alice stayed in the asylum for nearly 5 weeks, displaying no sign of hallucinations or talking nonsense. She seemed more friendly toward other patients and the asylum staff now. She cooperated easily with them during her check ups or any medical treatment they gave her. All in all, she was doing much better now - much better than Wilson was expecting. He was beginning to believe that this Wonderland of hers did hold some key to her sanity and survival.

No nightly fits of screaming or nightmares, even though she still whispered strange things in her sleep, but that didn't concern Wilson much. He asked her if she'd had any violent desires lately and was pleased to hear her say "Not unless they tried to hurt me first." He knew he didn't have to worry about that. Alice even agreed to meet with her two aunts when they came to visit her. They sat and talked with Alice for nearly two hours and Wilson had showed them the artwork Alice had produced over those past years. They were quite impressed with her drawing skills and asked if she could draw pictures for them as well. She agreed.

On the morning of Friday, September 11, Kathryn informed Alice that Wilson believed she was ready to spend some time outside the asylum with her Aunt Malina. They were talking about allowing Alice to go to her house the next to see if she'd do well there. Malina had already made up a guest room for Alice and bought her decent dresses to wear. Alice agreed, though she did feel a bit nervous about leaving the asylum after being housed behind it for so long. But she knew she couldn't live her entire life there, especially if there was really no need of her being there. She agreed to go with Aunt Malina only if Kathryn came along for the trip, and Kathryn agreed to this.

The following Tuesday morning of September 15, Kathryn changed the mirror's form into a small, hand mirror so that she could slip it into her hand bag and carry it with her. Alice watched this as she ate breakfast, then she went to the bathing room for a morning bath, and as she was slipping on her undergarments, Kathryn brought a dress into the bathing room that she'd insisted for Alice to wear. Alice turned to Kathryn and was surprised to find Kathryn holding a blue, puff sleeved dress with a well sewn, white pinafore attached to it. Alice smiled - she should've guessed this was coming.

"Where did you get this?" Alice asked as she slipped the dress on and let Kathryn zip up the backside.

"I bought the dress with some money I'd saved up and my mother used some spare material she had to make you the apron for me. Oh, and I bought you a simple pair of boots, too." Kathryn said, pointing to the pair of slip-on, black boots sitting by the door.

They looked rather uncomfortable from the outside, but as Alice slipped them on over her stockings, she found they fit her very well and they were soft and warm on the inside. She was thankful for that, she knew it'd be cold out this morning. Alice gave her room one last look before allowing Kathryn to guide her out to the entrance walkway, with most the nurses and doctors wishing Alice well during the walk. Kathryn stopped to talk with one of the nurses at the door, allowing Alice to walk along the path alone with her small, brown suitcase, which contained some extra clothing and her toy rabbit. Alice saw that her Aunt's carriage wasn't there waiting for her yet.

As she slowly walked down the cobblestone path way, surrounded on both sides with brightly colored, Autumn leaves, Cheshire cat appeared in front of her. She was a good distance away from the door and the nurse talking to Kathryn was distracted well enough. The cat smiled.

"Going to your aunt's then, hmm?"

"Yes.. Will you visit me there from time to time?"

"Of course.. If you need me, just call.. I'll hear it no matter where I am, but I wanted to give you something today.." A book appeared in front of him and he held up a large paw. It took Alice a moment to notice that he held her Omega charm necklace in his paw, slowly swinging it from side to side like a pendulum. "I believe this is yours?"

Alice smiled and took the necklace from him, placing it around her neck. "Thank you, cat."

"Same here.. Alice.."

Then, she knelt down and picked up the book that was laying at Cheshire's front paws. She flipped through some of the pages. The book was telling of her recent journey to save Wonderland. She went to the near ending of the book. On one page, she saw a picture of the Hatter and Hare, and on the opposite page, there was a picture of her surrounded by all her Wonderland friends. The lines below the picture read, "You've saved us, Alice! And she did more than that, she knew, she had saved herself as well."

Alice smiled, and closed the book, watching Cheshire vanish with a approving grin. Then, as she looked up into the morning sunlight, smiling, she heard the sound of a soft meow at her side. She looked down and seen her black cat friend beside her. She smiled and knelt down to pick the cat up, the cat meowed, sounding happy to be held. Alice saw the approach of her Aunt's carriage soon after and she began to walk towards it. Aunt Malina got out of the carriage to greet her at the walkway. Soon Kathryn had caught up to them and Alice was quite surprised when she watched Aunt Malina pull an animal carrier out of the carriage that was large enough for a thin cat to fit in, comfortably.

"Kathryn told me about your cat pet.." Malina told Alice with a smile. "Don't worry, I have cats at home that he.. she..?"

"She.." Alice told her.

"That she will get along well with.." Malina said as she opened the carrier.

Alice helped her aunt get the cat into the carrier, thankfully, the cat put up no fight with them. It obviously knew what was going on, and Alice had been told that Malina's house was only two hours away from the asylum by way of carriage. Alice hoped that her cat wouldn't mind traveling that long. Alice stepped up into the carriage and took a seat by the window. Malina and Kathryn followed her into the carriage and took their seats. There was also a picnic basket on the ground filled with food in case anyone got hungry on the journey.

Alice felt somewhat happy as the two horses began to pull the carriage away from the gates of Rutledge asylum. She listened to Kathryn inform Malina that Wilson had agreed to give her Saturdays off from work so that she could come spend the day with Alice at her new home. Malina thought it a great idea. Alice felt that this was the real, true step to her healing process - leaving that horrible, depressing asylum. A pleasant place to stay is one thing she really needed. She smiled, feeling better than she had in some time as she watched Rutledge get farther and father away.. and her new home growing closer. As she turned to face in front of her, something yellow above her aunt's head in the wall of the carriage caught her eye.

She focused on the yellow, suddenly, and smiled as she realized that a pair of yellow, glowing cat eyes were gazing back at her.

* * *

END NOTES:

Even though it was Dr. Bumby who killed Alice's family in Madness Returns, in this fic I had Caterpillar blame the fire on the Queen of Hearts to get Alice [and the Cheshire, who believed this lie] to hate and kill the Red Queen. Caterpillar was so desperate to save Wonderland and its creatures that he blamed the Queen of Hearts of something that he knew she didn't do. Afterward in Madness Returns, Alice discovers who's really responsible for the fire..

All reviews are welcomed.. and major thanks to all who loved and supported this fic.. ^_^


End file.
